Tuesday, June 21, 2011

PESANAN BUAT SUAMI

Oleh Dato’ Dr Hj Mohd Fadzilah Kamsah

1. Selalu menghargai usaha dan penat-lelah isteri, terutama isteri yang bekerja dan sama-sama terpaksa menanggung hutang suami.

2. Bila isteri bercakap, pandanglah mukanya dan buka telinga luas-luas. Biar apa yang dikatakannya masuk telinga kanan dan tersumbat di telinga kiri. Sambil tu otak suami kenalah memproses informasi yang diterima daripada isteri dengan bijak serta prihatin.

3. Jangan sekali-kali membandingkan masakan isteri atau cara isteri menghias rumah dengan mak anda kecuali masakan/cara menghias isteri anda lebih baik dan canggih dari emak anda..

4. Jangan demand sex sekiranya isteri tak ada mood atau letih. Agama suruh kahwin bukan semata-mata untuk penuhi nafsu syahwat saja.

5. Kalau pasangan dah ada anak, sama-samalah menjaga anak. Benih dari awak juga.. Ada suami, isteri sedang makan disuruh cebok kencing n berak anak sedangkan suami duduk tersandar kekenyangan macam maharaja.

6. Jangan sekali-kali duduk tersandar depan TV atau relax-relax sedangkan isteri bila balik dari kerja, buka saja kasut terus masuk dapur, memasak, mengemas, membasuh, kejar anak dsbnya. Berbulu mata dan sayu hati isteri bila kami tak cukup tangan nak menguruskan rumahtangga sedangkan suami lepas tangan.

7. Sekiranya suami makan dahulu, tinggalkan sedikit lauk utk isteri. Jangan bedal semua sampai turn isteri yang tinggal cuma ekor ikan sekerat, janggut sotong dan ekor taugeh.

8. Kalau nak ajak member bertandang ke rumah, beritau isteri dulu, kalau boleh sehari-dua in advance. Jadi bolehlah dia memasak yang best-best dan mengemas rumah cantik-cantik. Bayangkan perasaan isteri kalau tetamu datang terpacak sedangkan kain-baju masih berlonggok belum sempat dilipat, permainan anak masih berselerak dan isteri cuma masak mi maggi saja.

9. Jangan sekali-kali menyakat isteri tentang saiz badannya yang semakin sihat atau semakin melidi. Tengok body sendiri dalam cermin dulu.

10. Jangan kentut depan isteri. Masa bercinta dulu kenapa boleh control kentut?

11. Hormatilah ibu-bapa dan kaum keluarga isteri walaupun anda cuma main wayang, bodek mereka masa nak mengurat isteri anda dulu. Jangan sekali mencaci mereka walaupun secara bergurau.

12. Jangan kedekut dengan isteri serta keperluan rumahtangga.

13. Jagalah maruah anda sebagai suami dan lelaki. Selagi boleh, jangan bebankan isteri dengan masaalah kewangan anda. Selalunya perempuan ni, semakin suami “degil” tak nak minta pertolongan, selagi itulah dia rela nak tolong.

14. Jangan bersepah dan bersikap pengotor. Dah buka baju, letakkan dalam bakul baju kotor, dah guna cungkil gigi, buanglah dalam bakul sampah, bila dah guna ubat gigi bubuh balik penutupnya, dah ambil sesuatu barang simpan balik ditempat asal, dah berak flush. Susah sangat ke nak buat macam tu? Semua nak kena ajar ke?

15. Rajin-rajinlah bertanya isteri kalau dia perlukan bantuan anda dengan kerja rumah/menjaga anak. Tapi jangan tanya dua tahun sekali. Jangan tunjuk rajin bila ada tetamu di rumah saja.

16. Hormatilah isteri anda sebagaimana anda mahu dihormati. Isteri pun manusia. Allah berikan banyak keistimewaan kepada para isteri tapi diputar-belitkan tafsirannya oleh orang lelaki untuk kepentingan diri sendiri.

17. Jangan main kayu tiga dengan perempuan lain. Main lain lagi tak boleh. Kalau isteri awak yang buat, tentu awak tak boleh tolerate, jadi mengapa isteri awak kena tolerate kalau awak buat?

18. Kalau tak menyukai sikap atau perbuatan isteri, tegurlah secara baik, jangan asyik nak menengking aja. Kalau awak sakit nak mati nanti, siapa yang kena jaga awak? Bai jual roti? Apek jual sayur? Jiran sebelah rumah awak?

19. Kalau isteri nampak tak sihat, cepat-cepatlah bawa jumpa doktor. Tunjuklah anda mengambil berat tentang dirinya.

20. Berbincanglah dengan isteri sebelum sesuatu keputusan dibuat. Walaupun suami megah ada kuasa veto, tak jadi bapok kalau pendapat isteri diambil kira. Pokok pangkalnya ialah timbangrasa dan saling menghargai. Cubalah ketepikan ego yang keterlaluan. Bukannya laku bila dah mati nanti.

21. Dalami agama dan bimbinglah anak isteri dengan ikhlas seperti yang dituntut agama. Ingat, kalau seorang suami masuk syurga, besar kemungkinan isteri pun masuk syurga. Kalau suami masuk neraka belum tentu isteri juga masuk neraka. Kalau isteri masuk neraka, besar kemungkinan suami juga masuk NERAKA tapi kalau isteri masuk syurga belum tentu suami pun masuk syurga.Ini bukan rekaan saya tapi saya dengar dari seorang ustaz.

22. Berusahalah dengan ikhlas untuk mempertahankan keharmonian rumahtangga. Jangan buat apa yang isteri tak suka. Percayalah, kalau suami buat baik sekali dengan isteri, isteri balas sepuluh kali

23. Jangan buat donno kalau isteri merajuk atau berkecil hati. Kalau perlu minta maaf, minta maaf, kalau perlu dipujuk, pujuk. Hati orang pompuan ni sensitif. Kalau kami rasa suami tak ambil kisah, perasaan bagai dihiris-hiris. Perkara yang dipandang remeh oleh suami boleh menjadi kanser kepada isteri. Kepada para suami khususnya dan kaum lelaki amnya, janganlah dianggap masalah hati dan perasaan orang perempuan ni enteng sahaja.

Allah s.w.t. berfirman, “Dan ketahuilah bahawasanya Allah mengetahui apa yang didalam hatimu, sebab itu berhati-hatilah dengan Tuhan”

Friday, June 17, 2011

happy father's day

terima kasih Ayah, for turning me into who i am today.

thank you dear hubbyby, for being my soulmate, and being such a wonderful father to our children.. hanif, sofea and azalea..  i love you, always :)



(btw, for the young generations, Yusuf Islam was Cat Stevens in his younger years, and he already developed beautiful humanity songs at that time)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

whispering hope..



1st June 2011 - awakened at 2.30 am by contractions.. it was regular every 15 minutes, but not very strong. after about 1 hour, the contractions subsided. huh.. risau gak, kot tiba2 nak beranak. terus bangun solat hajat and buat solat sunat. terus tak leh tidur sampai pagi.

the next morning, terus kemaskan bag ready for hospital admission. bukan nak gi admit terus, but to keep stand-by in the car boot. barang baby dah lama siap, barang ummi je yang tak ready.

sampai kat  tempat kerja, memang rasa lain. rasa perut cam dah turun sikit. and ada lower back pain, lenguh2. tapi sepertti biasa, selagi tak de show/leaking, tetap kena kerja seperti biasa. habis gak waktu kerja. malam tu sakit lagi, tapi it didn't last long.

2nd June - decided not to drive, and request hubby to drive me to work that morning. dah tak sakit lagi... kerja cam biasa. dlm kul 11 pagi, pergi O&G clinic, for routine antenatal check-up. kita ni nama je doctor, antenatal check-up, hubby tak pernah ikut. bersalin pun hubby tak pernah tengok. so, bila tgk ibu2 lain pergi antenatal check-up ngan hubby depa, rasa jeles la jugak. hahha... tak main la manja2 ni.. kita professional, independent!!

jumpa ngan Dr Nasir, tetiba, dia cakap, "eh! ni transverse lie... dah 37 weeks, kena terus admit ni!". he did the scan and confirmed the findings. no choice, got to be admitted today. set new date for elective caesar on 8th June 2011. if i went into labour at any time, then emergency caesar should be done.

sesungguhnya, tak ready langsung nak kena admit ward. dah la long weekend, cuti sekolah pulak.. kesian anak2, ummi kat spital.

petang tu buat CTG, rasanya okay je, tapi ade time baby gerak tu, CTG cam tak cantik sket. so, they repeat another round. kali ni fetal tachy pula.. heart rate baby sampai 180 bpm, baseline at 170 bpm. kalut  HO & MO, takut ada fetal distress and nak kena em. caesar pula malam2 ni. so, terus kena set IV line (ntah kenapa, mlm tu susah nak dapat my line, walhal my veins are quite prominent ant timbul je kat tangan tu). bila cam gitu, kita ni terus ingat mati je... risau gak. dah la lupa bw Quran ptg tu, berzikir je la malam tu, tenangkan hati and harap baby tak distress lagi. alhamdulillah, the repeated CTG cantik... so, boleh la tidur.

2-3 hari dalam ward, and berehat, terus hilang contraction. fetal lie pun dah back to cephalic. but since we have decided for the el. caesar, kira proceed je la for op on June 8th.

perasaan nak buat operation kali ni sangat2 berbeza ngan masa nak buat op untuk deliver sofea dulu. sangat takut dan risau. most of the time dalam ward, sentiasa baca quran, and solat hajat every nite. doa tu tak terkata la.. memang nervous sangat2 dan asyik teringat mati. terubat juga bila petang2, hubby and anak2 datang jenguk, tapi tak leh nak nangis depan anak, nanti mereka sedih pula. menangis la sorang2 time nak tidur. kata orang, susah bila doctors jadi patients, sbb they know too much.. semua risks and complications kita tahu.. just hoping for the best!!

alhamdulillah, che and ayah finally decided to take a flight to  KT. it was a big motivational booster to me. rasa lebih tenang. and alhamdulillah, i was very calm on the operation day. woke up very early and prepared myself mentally, spiritually and physically for the operation. takut and nervous tetap ada, but alhamdulillah i was calm.

masuk OT, saspens nyer... Tuhan je tahu. masa nak bagi spinal pun kita gabra, sampai kita suruh depa stop kejap, kita nak take a deep breath.  i can see the wall clock even without my glasses (blurred), and i was aware of the time passed since incision. kenape kali ni lama? time sofea hari tu kejap je baby dah keluar, this time it took almost 15 minutes before baby delivered. i can only tarik nafas lega when i knew they were already closing. tengah closing tu, siap kita boleh tanya berapa blood loss??

i was in tears when they showed me the baby. lepas tu terus sejuk and shivering. they gave me pethidine to counteract the shivering. but... pening la pulak!! first time rasa the room is moving around me. memang tak leh bukak mata!! dekat recovery room, tak boleh tidur, but dah lega its over.

when they pushed me back to my room, i tried to sleep, tapi tak leh.. hubbyby and ayah kemudian balik bila everything dah settled. che stayed with me till petang...

(to be continued..)

Saturday, May 7, 2011

gearing up for the baby..

almost in my 34th week of pregnancy. and my last child birth was 6 years ago..



hmm.. barang baby banyak yang dah bagi other family members and kawan2. yang ada pun dah lama sangat.. ye lah, Hanif dah 11 y.o, and Sofea will be 6 y.o in 4 days time. in a way, banyak juga yang kena beli baru.

so, for the past few weeks kita dah mula survey barang2 baby kat kedai, visit online shops and blogs. dah mula juga shopping barang2 baby... tapi belum complete.

excited nak menerima kehadiran orang baru tak bermakna semua perlu beli baru. sekarang ni banyak pilihan, cuma kita perlu bijak memilih dan membeli. guided by the latest PaMa magazine, i created a checklist on the needs for the new baby, and would like to share it.. harap dapat dijadikan panduan :)

  1. Baby wear
    • shirts - you can prepare both long and short sleeve shirts, but staying in this hot climate country, i found long sleeves are not really necessary. as for the sizes, i would advise not to buy newborn sizes as babies usually grow very fast. just buy 2-3 pairs of 3-6 months sizes, and the rest should be more than 6 months size. for a start, i found front-buttoned shirts are more practical and easier to use on your fragile babies as compared to those without buttons. pullover shirts are more advisable when the baby's head control is better. as the baby grows you will definitely buy more clothes.
    • pants - your baby will need both short (day time) and long pants (night time). the sizes selection is the same as for the shirt.
    • mittens and booties - you need a lot of these. i prefer to buy those with similar pattern as the shirts/pants. but you may also want to buy a few universal pairs which can match along with many kind of shirts. your child will need these mittens until about 3-6 months of age, when they start gripping things.
    • bonnet/cap - you just need a few.. with different colors/style. it is only used when you take your baby for outings. you might also want to buy a few sets sold together with mittens/booties.. nampak sungguh cute bila pakai semua satu pasang.
    • rompers - baby sungguh cute bila pakai rompers.. masa baru lahir ni mungkin tak perlu lagi, but as the child grows, belilah a few..
  2. Baby Diapers
    • disposable diapers - i used disposable diapers for all my babies previously. you just need to find the ones that suits your baby well, and do not leave rashes on them. for a beginning, you can start with a pack of newborn size, and followed by S size. change the diapers every 4 hours, or as soon as it is soiled.
    • cloth diapers - these modern more eco-friendly have been introduced the past few years. although it may cost you > RM35/piece, it is still considered economical in the long run as you can use the same cloth diaper till your baby reach 3 years. you may need 6-7 pieces for a start, and may add some more as your baby grows. similar as disposable diapers, you need to change the diapers every 4 hours or as soon as it is soiled.
    • inserts - used together with cloth diapers. usually all cloth diapers are sold together with inserts.
    • wet wipes - really useful in the first few weeks of life to clean your baby as you change the diapers. but always clean with water whenever the baby passed motion. wet wipes are also very useful while travelling
    • pelapik menukar lampin - you need these to protect the beddings from getting dirty or wet. also useful during travelling.
  3. Baby care
    • baby powder and lotion - baby have delicate skin. lotions are needed to make sure the skin are kept soft and supple. the powders are required to keep the skin dry and prevent rashes, especially over the skin folds at the neck. powders and lotion also leave a wonderful smell on your delicate babies.
    • hair comb/brush - babies scalps are sensitive.. therefore, a soft hair comb or brush is needed. some babies develop cradle cap.. you need to always clean it with baby oil.
    • nail clipper - new mothers sometimes are scared to clip the baby's nails. choose nail clippers with safety features.
    • nappy rash cream - there are many creams out there. some that work on other babies may not work on yours. try with small tubes first.. and continue with a bigger tube if no reaction seen.
    • barut / baby binders - many modern mothers may not feel this necessary. but i still use barut for all my babies.
    • baby wrap - nowadays, there's a lot of choices on baby wraps. the use of the wraps - bagi baby rasa selamat dan kemas as if dalam pelukan.. and therefore can sleep more soundly. i usually use cotton napkins as baby wraps.
    • cotton buds/balls - these are to keep your babies in a hygienic condition
    • minyak telon - honestly, i don't like minyak... but i found minyak telon/minyak yuyee cap limau really nice and useful to prevent baby colic.
  4. Baby bathcare
    • baby tub - this is a must for any first child. many options are available out there. look for safety features such as anti-slip or textured bottom tub.
    • towels - need at least 2 for a start. look for soft, fluffy towels. many comes with beautiful patterns, but choose the ones that really serves the purpose.
    • facial towels / handkerchiefs - need a few to keep your baby clean and hygienic, especially following feeding.
    • baby bath/shampoo - you will definitely need these.. buy small packages for a start, and observe for reactions. if it suits your baby well, you can continue with the same brand in the future.
  5. Baby nursery/beddings
    • baby crib/cot - i had a passed-over baby cot from my sister. but i don't really feel it necessary as i prefer to sleep with my baby next to me on my bed. it is easier and more practical for breastfeeding purposes. but cots are really nice and beautiful. if you think you really need it, find the ones that can be used until pre-school age. some cots come with extra features eg. can be converted into playpen or sofa bed or junior bed as the child grows.
    • playpen - may also serve as baby cot, but is more portable as compared to baby crib, and can be easily folded for traveling. the price is slightly cheaper than cribs.
    • mattress and pillows - even if you don't buy cribs/playpen, you will definitely need matresses and pillows. chooses the ones that is comfy and safe for the baby. if  you choose to use cribs, you will also need to buy cot bumpers.
    • bedding cover - buy the ones with colorful and beautiful patterns, long lasting materials and easy to clean.
    • blankets - a must. you need a few. some are hooded, some are not. come with interesting cartoon characters, patterns and colors.
    • baby rocker / bouncer
  6. Baby feeding
    • Breastfeeding
      • breastpump - wide choice: manual, battery or electric powered pumps. you might want to consider the size and weight of the pump, and whether it suits you or not. most pumps come with a carrier bag.
      • breastmilk storage bottles/bag - you will need many of these, at least 8-10 bottles
      • cooler bag - especially needed if you're a working mom. it will keep your expressed breast milk within the required temperature while you are away from home.
      • reusable ice-packs - to be used together with cooler bags. it may maintain the desired temperature up to 12 hours
    • Bottle feeding
      • feeding bottles (BPA free) - glass or plastic. make sure it is BPA free and safe for the baby.
      • baby teats - comes in different shapes and sizes.
      • bottle brush - a must.
      • milk powder container
      • thermos - not too big or too small. find the one which is easy to carry for traveling.
      • a bag/basket - to store all the necessities on traveling.
  7. Baby carriers
    • baby carrier - pouch or sling or moby wrap. we seldom use the baby carrier we bought previously.
    • strollers - wide choice out there. buy the ones that fit your budget.
    • car seats - i sold hanif's car seat to my friend. working mothers will need these. i really found it useful for Hanif. but you need to train your children using it since small. otherwise, they don't like it (like Sofea).
fuh.. panjang jugak ye.. anyway, hope this will be beneficial for 'mothers to be' out there :)

    Saturday, April 30, 2011

    ahh.. the wedding bliss..

    i have always been mesmerized by beautiful weddings.. be it simple or elaborate, i enjoy them all.


    almost 30 years ago, i can still remember watching the live telecast of prince charles and lady diana spencer grand wedding. i loved the to see the beautiful diana, the wedding dress, and as a 10 year old girl at that time, i envied the bridesmaid... even they looked pretty and sweet.



    and when the wedding was shown again on TLC yesterday (Charles and Di - Once Upon A Time), i still got hooked in front of the box.

    and i was actually excited to watch the royal wedding of William and Kate yesterday. i was nailed in front of the tv the whole day! unlike charles and di, the newly-wed couple is so much in love with each other. you can see it in their eyes... i really love watching the way William looked at Kate while saying his wedding vows with his loving smile.


    and Kate portrayed a classic beauty.. with her elegant and stunning wedding dress, a beautiful tiara and veil, and of course her graceful smile.. she looked very regal.


    what caught my eyes on tv yesterday:
    • the royal cars do not have tinted windows.. all are transparently see through.. (cuaca UK tak panas, so ok la,,)
    • the people really loves the royal family
    • the timing was accurate.. tak de la lambat and slow kena tunggu VIP macam kat malaysia
    • besides the main royal family, the rest of the royal members were transported using luxury mini coaches
    • the horse carriage memang cantik.. and tahan beratus tahun
    • kelakar tengok topi2 the ladies... paling kelakar princess beatrice's hat yang kelihatan seperti tanduk rusa, and victoria beckham's hat yang macam nak jatuh.
    • preggy victoria wore a 3-inched heels!!!
    • suka tengok kepala william... baru 28 dah macam tu!!
    • william was so handsome.. and kate was so beautiful!! what a lovely couple..
    • gaya prince harry jalan sungguh tidak macho..
    • william sungguh handsome in his military uniform, tapi pingat dia sikit sangat. bajunya nampak kosong.
    • lama jugak mereka kena berdiri time bertukar2 wedding vows tu.. (tabik tu 90 y.o prince philip and 85 y.o queen elizabeth)
    • the young bridesmaids were so cute.. macam ngantuk je!!
    • kalau diana masih ade... mesti dia sangat elegant and cantik yesterday as compared to camilla-parker
    • hilang sudah ke'handsome'an prince andrew and prince edward..
    • time prince philip nak naik horse carriage, tetiba kelihatan carriage tu macam nak jatuh.
    • the couple kissed twice at the balcony.. so sweet :)
    hari ni kita tengok lagi kat tv... hmm.. tak puas2!!

    to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.. may you live happily ever after.. :))