an anniversary and a birthday

June 29th - the date my parents tied their wedding knot, in the year 1958. it has been 51 wonderful, fruitful years. last year we had a superb family occasion for the golden jubilee of their marriage, together with the family day. this year tak de buat ape2 special. i send dad a text message this morning. he called to thank me, but i was in a meeting, tak leh cakap panjang. moga berbahagia selamanya.

but i guess, one of the best gift they ever had for their anniversary was the birth of my only brother, syam, who was born on the same date in 1973. he is the ninth child, and was called as "awang 9" by the kampung folks back then.

my brother syam - an obedient child. anak yang baik, sabar and never say 'no' to my parents. even though he is the only boy in the family, he was not spoilt and tak pernah received special privilege. our parents treat him sama je ngan orang lain. masa kecik2 manja sangat2 and always nak ikut mana2 my parents pergi. kalau tak dibenarkan ikut, dia akan kejar kereta tu, and it was me and seri yang kena kejar dia and bawa dia balik rumah.

syam masa kecik - mat smart. asyik pakai bush jacket macam ayah. rambut sentiasa rapi, baju tucked-in and mesti pakai belt. bila dah besar.... selekeh habis! bila dah jumpa Era baru nampak presentable sikit.

anyway bro, i wish you all the best, sukses dunia akhirat. may eisyraf and eqmal be the best children and menyejukkan hati you and era.

luv ya!

end of the journey

i wanted to make this entry earlier, but the weekend was quite hectic.

by now, everybody knows that michael jackson died of cardiac arrest. but the real cause of death is yet to be determined...

i'm not really an MJ's fan. but i grew-up during his era, and his songs are quite nostalgic... they remind me of the days in mrsm ktn, and the early part of my medic school. of course, thriller, beat-it and billie jean were among the top songs when i was in form 1. bad, man in the mirror, one day in your life, heal the world, dangerous, black or white, etc.

banyak juga lagu MJ yang i suka, but the one i'm going to share in the next vid is one of the best. lagu ni was recorded time MJ was still with jackson 5 in the early 70's.



so long... MJ. he died young, and lead a lonely, mysterious life. i bet, he never found the real meaning of happiness. may you rest in peace...

why do i blog?

i couldn't remember exactly when i started reading blogs. but what initiates me was the article in reader's digest, about a homeless person in britain. after being forced out of her rented apartment, she lived in her car. after sometimes, she started using the public toilets in librarys to take a bath. subsequently, she started using the computer library to start a blog about her homeless life. she received unexpected responses, and was interviewed in tv programmes. everything after that was history.

then it was the political waves. i actually like to read and talk about politics, but it was reserved to selected people. masa tu mula baca malaysia today, kickdefella, che det and banyak lagi. entah kenapa, sekarang i dah tak baca semua tu. muak?

what really hooked me was my friend's site - spread the jam. my friend, joe is a born writer. i believe it runs in her family, the KuStamangs'. everyone in her family has their own blog except for dolly. joe was an engineer but became a housewife since she followed her hubby to saudi. she has turned into a domestic goddess. besides good at cooking (she shares easy to follow recipes), she is now selling tudung thru the net. but now she seldom update her blog, sibuk menjahit.

but joe and her father, PokKu, has linked me to many wonderful blogs. these people really speak-up their minds, share their life stories and open up your eyes betapa kejadian Tuhan ni pelbagai. dugaan dan experience kehidupan orang lain banyak bagi kita peringatan. reading their blogs terasa macam kita dah kenal the blogger dah lama, padahal tak pernah bersua muka. they brighten-up your day, and sometimes, their writings make me cry. sebenarnya, naluri manusia, we like to share and we like to know that someone cares.

why do i blog? sebenarnya dah lama nak mula. i started at blogspot, but never published my entry. malu. tak de confidence. padahal bukannya orang tahu kita ni sape, bcoz initially i open-up an anonymous blog.

but what makes me really want to blog? loneliness. i need to talk to keep me sane. i need to make my life lively. i was actually bored.

niat asal joined friendster and facebook ni nak tengok2kan my nieces and nephews yang ramai ni. sorry,... i was not spying, cuma ambik berat. kita can caring society. then, belek2 friendster, rupanya boleh buat blog kat friendster, so cubalah. audience pun tak ramai, anak2 sedara je. maka lahirlah as the wind blows. yes, it was ida and dhuha yang rajin bagi comments, then baru yang lain2. lama2 dah menulis ni, seronok pulak. subconsciously, the blogs keep us closer, update us with the latest news about each other. tahu2 jelah kita ni bukannya selalu jumpa, nak telephone pun malas. at least, i feel closer to my nieces.

blogspot sebenarnya lebih user friendly, and more accessible. but once your blog is established, google je your blogger name, orang pun boleh get access to your blog, tak perlu jadi member dlm friendster to get access to a friendster blog.

kenapa pula i suka nak keep on updating this blog? ntahlah... i pun tak tahu kenapa i suka nak tulis...

maid in a muddle

MAID - tak ada susah, ada pun susah.

when i was small, rumah kami tak delah proper maid, but we always have someone in the house to take care of us yang kecik2. mereka ni selalunya sedara mara, therefore kami tak delah panggil maid. more of a helper.

during primary school, we have my dad's cousin staying in the house to take care of my little sister, elly. she was older than my dad, single and sangat cerewet. since dia ada kat rumah, dia tak only took care of elly, but more or less tolong jaga kami sekali. masa tu, we don't really like her. kalau terjaga tidur malam2, bunyi dia snoring macam bunyi drum + cymbals. ingat lagi bunyi tu...

banyak benda yang tak boleh buat and kena marah bila dia ada. kami tak boleh makan ngan chopsticks, nanti dia kata nak jadi cina. tak boleh makan tumpah, nanti kena marah. my late tok ayah had stroke, and always had problems makan nasi mesti tumpah bawah meja, and bila cuci mulut kat sink, mesti basah keliling sink. itupun dia bising. he.. tak faham ke tok ayah tu sakit? so, akibatnya, kami selalu mengata dia. masa tu i kecik lagi, dalam darjah dua, so i baik sikit, tak pandai nak menjawab. tapi kalau my elder sisters tu selamba je menjawab mulut dia.

yang bestnya, kami mengata dia depan2, tapi kami cakap orang putih sebab tak nak bagi dia faham. nama dia pun kami bagi nama mat salleh. we were supposed to call her mak nik, but her english name was Monica Davis. so, kalau kami tetiba je speaking tunggang langgang, maksudnya geram benarlah tu and mengata2 dia. punyalah kita mengata dia, bila jumpa sedara mara, dia akan puji kami melambung sebab pandai cakap orang putih, kat rumah pun speaking... kami senyum dan ketawa je.

tapi sekarang dia dah tak de. last sekali masa visit dia, sungguh sedih... drama airmata. very sad.

back to maids.....

so far, my maid, k.syam boleh tahanlah... as compared tu maid my sisters. but since she return from her 2 weeks raya leave, perangai dah lain sikit. lagi ketara bila we agreed to give her a handphone. bila dah ada hp sendiri, maka panjanglah langkahnya. asyik bergayut kat telephone. maid neighbour sebelah pun banyak ajar dia macam2. tapi kalau tak bagi berkawan, melampau pula.

rupanya my maid ni dah ada boyfriend. patutlah asyik bergayut. kdg2, sambil masak pun pegang telephone. i pun pernah jumpa notes jiwang2 masa balik KB. then mula nak minta duit. dulu2, duit gaji pun tak nak ambik, nak simpan buat beli rumah. lately, asyik mintak duit, bukan sikit. sekali minta sampai RM1ribu. yang geramnya dia banyak berdalih, kata nak bagi anak, then sedara tapi tak nak kami wire it to indon thru western union, maid neighbour sebelah akan uruskan, katanya.

rupa2nya duit tu nak bagi boyfriend. what makes me mad, bila i only got to know all these thru my sister, who got to know from her maid. and ksyam also ada bercerita ngan my mom. tapi, biasalah, my mom ni pun tak nak cerita ngan i. they know... i akan marah punyer. lagi geram bila mr hubbyby pun tahu, tapi tak de pun nak cerita ngan kita. agghhhh......... siapa kita ni? duit gaji dia siapa bayar? saya yang bayar!

last few weeks, dah mula pandai nak minta cuti, nak gi jumpa kawan in kuantan. mr hubbyhy and i had long discussions. bukan ape, kita risau if anything bad happen to her. dia bukannya biasa kat kuantan. dia ingat malaysia ni macam medan ke? hubbyby called the 'kawan', but no answer. i takut kalau dia gi jumpa org laki. susah hati juga... men cannot be trusted. but she insisted on going.

so hari ini, for the first time after 3 years, we let her go on a trip by herself. naik bus gi kuantan. she promised to call when she reached kuantan. sampai sekarang belum call. may she has called mr hubbyby. harapnya everything will be ok, and hope she will return safely this satuday.

berat hati melepaskan dia macam nak lepaskan anak. sedih gak bila dia salam cium tangan pagi tadi. tapi i control je muka stern...

so, petang ni balik rumah, there is no tea waiting for me on the dining table. sunyi pula rumah. sofea wants to stay with hubbyby at amethyst, and balik malam ni. hanif keluar main badminton depan rumah.

what's for dinner? selalunya khamis malam ni, i nak rehat betul2 coz dah penat kerja one week. so, it will be take-away pizza for tonite.

esok... breakfast, laundry and kemas rumah. my mother in law might singgah rumah kejap on her way to kemaman for a kenduri. then, my parents and elly and her family will come to my house on saturday. elly baru balik umrah and balik kb to pick-up her children, so balik KL ikut jalan KT.

am expecting a hectic weekend. hmm... dah lama jadi mem, i believe i can be a superb domestic goddess. hehe... boleh caya ke? will see...

random rambles

hari ini 1 rejab.

time really flies. i thought yesterday was 29 jamadilakhir, but i was wrong. but i really heard fenda mentioned it on TV3 yesterday morning. confused. wrong date kut.

it's final. i have to go for the workshop. ok, no big deal. i will just go and won't promise anything when i come back later. but i couldn't get a room at G-Hotel, the room availabe is only at RM360/night. hubbyby kata tak pe... tapi musim gawat ni kena fikir jugak. the economic turmoil is expected to be worse... was mentioned in yesterday's news. may be i'll stay at gurney hotel, or ada satu lagi nearby, murah sikit.

mr hubbyby tak nak ikut. dia lagi sayang kedai dan sekolah hanif dari wife dia.

sebenarnya pergi sorang ni ada pro and kontra nya. yang bestnya... boleh tidur lena, boleh tgk movie kat tv tanpa ada gangguan, atau baca novel sampai loss track of time, boleh rehat minda. yang tak bestnya... bila tiba time makan, teringat anak2 and sometimes tak leh tidur. i kan penakut.

haa... i pernah mimpi menakutkan and mengigau masa gi KL last year. nasib baik masa tu nuha balik cuti from NZ and ikut i pergi kl. i went for a course and she went to meet her friends and to shop around. i ngigau camana?.... i boleh ketawa tengah2 malam dalam gelap tu dengan ketawa yang menakutkan... nuha woke me up. mengucap panjang... dan seterusnya tidur dalam lampu terpasang. kalau duduk hotel sorang2 jawabnya lampu dan tv akan terpasang sampai pagi. membazir letrik?? kan kita bayar bil hotel tu mahal2, tak pelah.

masa kat mrsm dulu pun i pernah bukak mata tengah malam and tengok my friend, wani dan menjerit sampai semua orang terjaga. i remembered screaming but i tak tahu i nampak apa, may be i tak nampak my friend but something else... masa tu bising sampai budak laki pun kecoh nak tahu what happen, tapi i selamba je sambung tidur.

flight ticket belum booking. risau jugak nak travel sekarang ni. esok kena gi ambik influenza vaccine.

k. selamat menyambut rejab dan beramal. puasa ganti dah habis ke?