1st June 2011 - awakened at 2.30 am by contractions.. it was regular every 15 minutes, but not very strong. after about 1 hour, the contractions subsided. huh.. risau gak, kot tiba2 nak beranak. terus bangun solat hajat and buat solat sunat. terus tak leh tidur sampai pagi.
the next morning, terus kemaskan bag ready for hospital admission. bukan nak gi admit terus, but to keep stand-by in the car boot. barang baby dah lama siap, barang ummi je yang tak ready.
sampai kat tempat kerja, memang rasa lain. rasa perut cam dah turun sikit. and ada lower back pain, lenguh2. tapi sepertti biasa, selagi tak de show/leaking, tetap kena kerja seperti biasa. habis gak waktu kerja. malam tu sakit lagi, tapi it didn't last long.
2nd June - decided not to drive, and request hubby to drive me to work that morning. dah tak sakit lagi... kerja cam biasa. dlm kul 11 pagi, pergi O&G clinic, for routine antenatal check-up. kita ni nama je doctor, antenatal check-up, hubby tak pernah ikut. bersalin pun hubby tak pernah tengok. so, bila tgk ibu2 lain pergi antenatal check-up ngan hubby depa, rasa jeles la jugak. hahha... tak main la manja2 ni.. kita professional, independent!!
jumpa ngan Dr Nasir, tetiba, dia cakap, "eh! ni transverse lie... dah 37 weeks, kena terus admit ni!". he did the scan and confirmed the findings. no choice, got to be admitted today. set new date for elective caesar on 8th June 2011. if i went into labour at any time, then emergency caesar should be done.
sesungguhnya, tak ready langsung nak kena admit ward. dah la long weekend, cuti sekolah pulak.. kesian anak2, ummi kat spital.
petang tu buat CTG, rasanya okay je, tapi ade time baby gerak tu, CTG cam tak cantik sket. so, they repeat another round. kali ni fetal tachy pula.. heart rate baby sampai 180 bpm, baseline at 170 bpm. kalut HO & MO, takut ada fetal distress and nak kena em. caesar pula malam2 ni. so, terus kena set IV line (ntah kenapa, mlm tu susah nak dapat my line, walhal my veins are quite prominent ant timbul je kat tangan tu). bila cam gitu, kita ni terus ingat mati je... risau gak. dah la lupa bw Quran ptg tu, berzikir je la malam tu, tenangkan hati and harap baby tak distress lagi. alhamdulillah, the repeated CTG cantik... so, boleh la tidur.
2-3 hari dalam ward, and berehat, terus hilang contraction. fetal lie pun dah back to cephalic. but since we have decided for the el. caesar, kira proceed je la for op on June 8th.
perasaan nak buat operation kali ni sangat2 berbeza ngan masa nak buat op untuk deliver sofea dulu. sangat takut dan risau. most of the time dalam ward, sentiasa baca quran, and solat hajat every nite. doa tu tak terkata la.. memang nervous sangat2 dan asyik teringat mati. terubat juga bila petang2, hubby and anak2 datang jenguk, tapi tak leh nak nangis depan anak, nanti mereka sedih pula. menangis la sorang2 time nak tidur. kata orang, susah bila doctors jadi patients, sbb they know too much.. semua risks and complications kita tahu.. just hoping for the best!!
alhamdulillah, che and ayah finally decided to take a flight to KT. it was a big motivational booster to me. rasa lebih tenang. and alhamdulillah, i was very calm on the operation day. woke up very early and prepared myself mentally, spiritually and physically for the operation. takut and nervous tetap ada, but alhamdulillah i was calm.
masuk OT, saspens nyer... Tuhan je tahu. masa nak bagi spinal pun kita gabra, sampai kita suruh depa stop kejap, kita nak take a deep breath. i can see the wall clock even without my glasses (blurred), and i was aware of the time passed since incision. kenape kali ni lama? time sofea hari tu kejap je baby dah keluar, this time it took almost 15 minutes before baby delivered. i can only tarik nafas lega when i knew they were already closing. tengah closing tu, siap kita boleh tanya berapa blood loss??
i was in tears when they showed me the baby. lepas tu terus sejuk and shivering. they gave me pethidine to counteract the shivering. but... pening la pulak!! first time rasa the room is moving around me. memang tak leh bukak mata!! dekat recovery room, tak boleh tidur, but dah lega its over.
when they pushed me back to my room, i tried to sleep, tapi tak leh.. hubbyby and ayah kemudian balik bila everything dah settled. che stayed with me till petang...
(to be continued..)
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