camp along edi

december 31st 2009 - today is edi's last day in office. come 2010, he will be working in another department.

didn't have a chance to bid a proper good bye, as he "disappeared" from the clinic earlier than he's supposed so. nape lari? a few postulations.. (edi, sila jawab MCQ di bawah)

• dia malas nak jumpa boss


• dia dah sedih sangat sampai sebak nak cakap bye2 to everyone


• dia dah merajuk, kecik hati sebab ditukarkan keluar dan tak de big boss nak fight for him to stay


• dia memang tak sabar2 nak keluar oftal

edi is the type of person who kept his feelings to himself, looks like he wanted to stay. tapi biasa la lelaki, control macho, so dia punya action is the opposite la.. hehe betul tak?? jangan la merajuk dik.. :) sedih betul bila i tgk you kemaskan pigeon hole you tadi. am so used to sharing the table with you..

personally, it's a sad thing - to lose a competent person like edi. not bcoz he's my 'favourite MO' as everybody says so, but to me, he is really good. hey! i'm not biased. he is a committed doctor, surgically talented, nice to patients, dare to take risk tapi tak memandai2. he will always ask for 2nd opinion when in doubt, and good in documentation. he also has a critical mind with an attitude. he is one of a few reliable MOs that i can trust in the department. hmm... edi must be smiling reading all these..

is he really my favourite MO? i sayang all my MOs. semua pernah kena marah, semua pernah kena puji. sape bagus kita bagi credit. but personally, i think i can work well with edi, and i have no problem with him. we have no communication barrier, and we're free and at ease to express our views. so.. senang nak kerja. edi also has a cooling factor on me, kalau bad mood pun boleh cool down.. why? i have no answer to that question.

but, edi, there are still a few things that you need to improve. paling penting, you need to read. we cannot talk without knowledge, smart people can easily read a person who likes to 'goreng'. our 'basic' must be good. must upgrade your confidence level. everyone has some sort of stage fright and tension bila kena buat presentation, and you really need to work on this. your language is fairly good, tak yah nak risau, you just need to speak out loud, and know your subjects well. bila you confident ngan apa yg you nak cakap, everything will be smooth. trust me! a lot of things will be a lot easier if you work it out, look at it logically and use a lot of common sense (which is not so common nowadays!).

i wish you luck in paeds! you'll be a lot busier and i doubt you would have time for your PS3 games (too bad, Gods of War 3 will be released soon!). but you'll have fun with the children, and at the same time tak sampai hati tgk budak2 comel tu sakit. that was how i feel when i was in paeds. being in paeds also taught me about patience, coz it's really stupid to lose your temper to children. and losing your cute little patients would really break your heart and bring tears to your eyes.

may 2010 be a wonderful and meaningful year to you. wish you all the best, and hope you would CLIMB for success.

i really wish you would come back to us after 4 months. we need people like you. come and camp along with us, edi. camp along in ophthalmology.

we gonna miss you. and i would really do :( do keep in touch.. i'll always be there for you in good and bad times. count me on, i can be a friend to rely on. and jgn lupa kita bila nak bina masjid ye..

thanks for the wonderful lunch (next time belanja lagi!). and i dedicate the following song specially for you.

there's always gonna be another mountain and an uphill battle, gotta be strong.. keep pushing on!

homealone

homealone tonite. hubbyby and the children balik besut.

sunyi.. sepi.. rasa sungguh kosong.

tak tahu kenapa malam ni kita tak ngantuk, walhal semalam kita tak boleh tido after receiving a phone call. may be last nite i slept sooo soundly hingga tercatat "9 missed calls" before i picked-up the phone. pecah rekod.

entah kenapa juga, di tengah2 malam ini, jiwa kita terasa sungguh sayu. tiba2 teringat perjalanan yang kita rancang masih belum terlaksana. terasa di panggil-panggil ke sana. mungkin ini yang orang kata 'rindu'. bila rezeki kita ke sana? moga dipermudahkan. suci kan jiwa, hati dan perasaan. rasanya, terlalu banyak titik hitam yang perlu kita bersihkan sebagai persediaan ke sana.

sayu.. sedih..

petang tadi kita loose temper, meradang, naik suara, sampai semua org menikus ngan kita. alhamdulillah, kita dpt cool-down before balik rumah. tapi biasa la.. lepas kita meradang, kita akan rasa bersalah ngan org2 yg kena marah tu. rasanya agak lama jg kita tak loose temper, tapi tadi memang tak leh control. sejak tadi duk berkira2, nak beli apa utk org yg kena sembur tadi. bukan nak ambik hati, tapi sbg tanda maaf.

kita juga sedang berkira-kira untuk sambung belajar. buat sub-specialty. hubbyby dah lama bg greenlight, cuma kita yang malas. i'm not an ambitious person, but you just don't feel good being stagnant.. everyday doing the same thing, follow the same routine, day by day, week by week. boring. rasa nak explore something more challenging. kita pun dah rasa mcm byk buat kerja at spinal level. must take-up some challenge, bagi otak fikir lebih sikit. cuma kita kena boost-up kita nyer confidence level.. biasa la org low profile cam kita ni, selalu rasa inferior! kdg2 kita envy pada org2 yg bukan la bagus sangat tapi depa ada great confidence level that make them appeared charismatic. tak pe, be yourself!

at the moment tgh layan lagu ari lasso n bcl - aku dan dirimu. lagi rasa sayu tak pasal2. lepas ni nak layan bryan adams - straight from the heart. then, the fray, ronan keating, plain white-T, then, lenka... uishh bila nak tido ni??

lepas 2 minggu bercuti dan melayan anak2, rasa sungguh kosong bila mereka tiada.

kids, i miss you! kisses!!

looking back..

time really flies..

sedar tak sedar, ari ni dah 16th dec. lagi 15 hari masuk year 2010. huh! cepatnya masa berlalu. rasa cam baru je 2009.

so, mari kita flashback... what had happened during the past 11 months..

1. i started blogging in january, rasanya 21st jan. mula ada kegilaan baru..
2. started losing my weight. mula loss of appetite somewhere in dec 2008. why?? only God knows. kata my sister aini, may be i ni di buat orang. haha.. semua ketentuan di alam fana ni, Allah punya kuasa. tiada yang berlaku tanpa keizinanNya.
3. got my new companion, captain future, on 30th jan. seronok sungguh. dah lama nak beli laptop baru, tapi the urge to buy this was to prepare for my Korat trip.
4. many people said i changed.. kononnya baik sikit. hehe.. no comment. but i believe that as we got older, we became more matured and wiser. more rational and less emotional. garang kita pun bersebab..
5. got a new tenant utk my house in KB, alhamdulillah.
6. reluctantly went to korat, thailand for an intensive course yg i langsung tak de interest. "they" said, they saw the 'talent' in me... whatever la..
7. while in Korat, i learned and discovered something... not to be shared.. personal!
8. alhamdulillah, hubbyby's business bertambah baik, moga terus success dan dimurahkan rezeki. but he's much toooooo busy!!!
9. tried antar sofea to nursery so that she can make more friends, and tak takut gi sekolah. tapi lepas cuti sekolah terus tak nak gi. and everyday mesti nangis bila di tinggalkan kat sekolah.
10. trying out with pets - bela ikan dlm aquarium :)
11. were given the chance to attend a conference in Bali, but dah last minute sangat.. and, again, i was misunderstood about sumthin'.
12. losing more weight.. sampai banyak baju, especially kain and pants londeh. it was significant.. sampai i pun tak percaya that could happen. ada dua new pants sampai i terus tak leh pakai langsung, until now. and i could fit into my old jeans yang dah almost 10 years i tak pakai.
13. for the first time since i owned a car sejak 1997, kena saman tak renew road-tax and insurance kereta. hehe... menunjukkan betapa berserabut sebenarnye seorang anita yg sebelum ni sangat la organized. i put a reminder to it but i memang langsung tak ingat. kena masuk traffic court!
14. found my new love.. c-puteh, my new toyota camry 2.0
15. kenapa sangat tak lalu makan and losing weight?? makan hati? merana? only me and God knows. kalau dulu biasa lunch sorang2 at work, i decided to have lunch with friends.. lebih ceria, and bersemangat sikit nak makan. be postive!!
16. the politics at work became worse. ntahla.. lagi ramai org kat atas, lagi banyak idea and benda pelik2 and ntah hape2 nak di introduce. rasa cam kena sangat di controlled. at one time, i was sooo annoyed by these people and rasa nak lari je.. tapi lepas pikir 2-3 kali, i have nowhere to run. kita tak leh lari dari masalah. there would be pros and cons dlm semua benda kita buat.
17. sofea dapat "kutu" attack, and i was so into it. stayed up sampai kul 1-2 pagi to clear that up.
18. elly and makmun went for umrah. hope dapat ikut jejak langkah soon.
19. nadjee and elly, both naik second house. both in setia alam.
20. my second house??? ntah bila nak siap.. dah rasa tak sabar sangat nak pindah, rumah sewa sekarang dah mula timbul problem.
21. my previous maid mula nampak lain macam.. dah banyak koya dari buat kerja. akhirnya dia balik indon and did not return. i expected that.. so tak de la huru hara.
22. jangan tak caye.. kita masak for sahur and berbuka sepanjang ramadhan this year. tapi ada jugak beli... cuma kurang selera. hubbyby insisted that i should cook.
23. for the first time dapat cuti raya more than 2 days for aidilfitri, in five years. hah... dah nasib badan..
24. attended a conference in singapore.
25. enrolled myself in an aerobic class. bukan sbb nak kurus, cuma nak jaga jantung, and to prevent myself form osteoporosis. dah ajak hubbyby utk sama2 gi jogging or panjat bukit during weekends cam dulu2.. but as usual.... busyyyyy memanjang!!
26. nadjee and abg yie went for haj.
27. got a new maid, who is only 20 yrs old. banyak nak kena ajar since dia belum pernah kerja sebelum ni. but with this new maid, i tak bagi sangat dia masak. i chose to cook since i nampak dia kurang pembersih. tapi tiap hari rasa tension fikir nak masak ape.. huhu..
28. celebrated my 11th wedding anniversary by waaaaiting for hubbyby...
29. hubbyby finally decided to rent another shop-lot for a second branch, tapi tak guna nama amethyst. it is nearer to the current house. hope he can spend more time at home.
30. hanif finally di-sunatkan. dah besar anak ummi. took 2 weeks leave to attend to him and spend time with the children during the school holidays. berpantang sakan anak ummi.
31. tadi pergi town, carikan uniform anak2. hanif kena jadi prefect. sofea still tak nak gi sekolah, but nampak more excited bila dah beli bag and stationaries.
32. esok terpaksa gi kerja walaupun sebenarnye cuti... ada meeting dept.
33. we're going for a holiday this friday. hanif pun is getting a lot better and dah kena paksa ngan ummi pakai jeans. oopps, lupa pulak, belum buat appt dgn spa kat sana, nanti melepas pulak..
34. items still to look for during this year-end sale : digital camera, mini laptop, perhaps a new handphone (hubbyby wants an e72 for him, and i'm thinking of blackberry or iphone). tapi rasanye handphone tu cam dalam angan2 je la.. my htc touch masih ok, cuma i sakit hati ngan memory nye yang ciput tu!!

hah... akhirnya, dapat gak i write a new post. selesai within 30 minutes. fyi, since bercuti dah a few drafts i tulis, tapi satu pun tak menjadi. ntahla.. idea tak dtg. i cannot write dlm terpaksa, tak best. doesn't sound original and tak sincere. kita kan jenis tulis straight form the heart...

orait. tiba2 rasa cam semangat balik nak menulis. cukup dulu.

got to go now. see ya again, somewhere in time...

a step towards manhood

salam.

rasa cam dah lama sangat tak masuk friendster ni, rupanya dah bertukar wajah. the new friendster look appears more user-friendly and sedikit lebih kurang dah terikut facebook.

yesterday was a big day for my dear son, hanif. he was circumcised yesterday morning. he was excited to get it done, sampai ummi pun naik risau. you know, you shouldn't get too excited about things coz kadang2 it won't turn out the way you want it to be.

he woke up very early and was ready for the day ahead of me. pagi2 lagi dah called his cousin aqim. he told aqim he's scared. but he was smiling all the way.

hanif was the first to go in. he is a well-behaved boy, and i was confident he could handle it well. tapi bila dah on table, he told me he was scared. i hugged him and hold both his hands. jiwa hanif lembut and sensitive, just like me, bila kita peluk dia, the teardrops mula flowing, even before buat ape2 lagi. it was cold in the theatre, and he started shaking. but alhamdulillah, he was not struggling. cuma tersedu-sedan menangis. he kept asking "dah potong ke belum?", and "lambat lagi ke?". i was busy consoling him sampai i tak tengok what was being done. alhamdulillah, the procedure ran smoothly. i wiped away his tears, and asked him to give a big smile. he smiled bila nak exit OT but as soon as he saw his abah, mata dah berair semula...

hanif sangat menjaga tempat lukanya. he stay put in his station at home, and only move when he needs to go to the toilet, and to eat at the dining table. sakit jugak org bersunat ni.. kesian gak melihatnya. jalan pun slow je.. macam org lepas bersalin.

makan... pantang jugak la.. as my friend said "kena jaga.. itulah nyawa dia..". so i bagi hanif makan ikan selar panggang, and chicken soup. masa beli ikan, kita ckp kat makcik jual ikan tu, kita nak beli ikan utk org berpantang. dia suggest kita beli ikan selar, cencaru and selayang. kita tak biasa makan ikan selayang and baru kenal ikan tu semalam, so kita beli ikan selar and cencaru. there was another ikan.. ikan lolong, itu pun kita tak biasa.

lega rasanya bila hanif dah bersunat, tapi cerewet gak menjaganya, macam org lepas bersalin jugak. harap lukanya cepat sembuh.i take two weeks leave to jaga hanif, and layan anak2 musim cuti sekolah ni. hope hanif will grow up to be anak yang soleh and a successful man.

rabu or khamis ni nak balik KB, nak sambut my sister balik from haj. hope both my sister, nadjee and his hubby, abg yie, sihat and selamat kembali.

adios!