my new companion

ahh...finally i can get connected again. for the past one to two weeks, my old pc has been giving me headache, and my internet line was not functioning well. the other new pc that was bought less than a year ago has got internet connection problem since being struck by lightning last december. told my hubbyby to get both cpu cleaned and disinfected from all the viruses, but as usual... busy!

so, today i've got myself a new notebook! the old one masih sayang coz ada banyak harta peribadi dlm tu esp my award winning thesis, but it got a problem over the hinge, got broken bila selalu buka tutup. now it is still useful, ada kat my hubby's shop. initially i thought of buying a mini laptop - hpmini or acer, as it would be easier for me to bring around. but it has no port for lcd projector, jadi cancellah coz i byk guna utk presentation, kalau boleh dah tak mahu pakai pendrive masuk laptop n computers kat hospital tu, byk sgt virusnya... hospitallah katakan!

the new notebook is a compaq presario CQ20 with a 12.1' screen, the size n weight is less than my previous acer laptop. hope it will function well. i'm not really an IT savvy person, so i don't really need a hi-tech pc. i just need it to do my paperworks, presentations and to get connected with the wide-webbed-world. i need my emails, i need to read the news (i do it online, seldom buy newspapers nowadays), i need to read my favourite blogs and of course to get the latest updates on the medical world. our hospital library has got only two types of journal for ophthalmology, so at least i can get other journals easier online.

what about games?? hah! this is the challenge... i really hope i can get rid of this beloved time-consuming activity. i can spend hours and hours on it. i even rewarded myself with games after finishing certain computer work. am addicted to games since zaman sekolah2 dulu, together with my other sister who is 2 years my senior. today i've promised my hubbyby, there wouldn't be any game downloaded into this new notebook. no online games too. we'll see selama mana i boleh bertahan. should be ok kut, i'm not young anymore! but personally i think the games had developed me into an alert person, sensitive to changes, and i think it also develop a good coordination between the eyes and your fingers, and your mind work faster too. it is an exercise for the brain! hehe.. itu pendapat orang yg suka main gameslah.

the only thing that i'm not really used to with this new notebook is the windows vista. it's not really user-friendly to me. may be i'm not used to it. tengoklah dah lama2 nati ok kut. i actually requested for windows xp but shop technician said to me 'kenapa nak bergerak ke belakang? tak lama lagi org dah tak pakai xp, nak buat apa2 nanti susah." so i end-up dgn vista jugalah.

orait, till the next post. need to get to know my new companion ni betul-betul. tak kenal maka tak cinta!

garang??

Today i was told by a colleague that i've been 'garang' towards someone. Ha.. ha... what a blow! I accepted that comment with an open mind and a BIG smile :) . lagipun i memang agak 'garang', tapi itu dululah... now rasanya i dah banyak boleh control, more matured, more calm, lebih tenteram. i can even smile and laugh at myself bila orang cakap gitu. i am open to criticism he.. he.. :P

i wouldn't say that i 'garang' to that particular person, it's just that i'm being FIRM with her. i have trained myself to be an opiniated person and firm in the way that i deliver/express my views since i was in primary school. i really cannot tolerate girls who are lembik, getik or mengada2 esp. in front of the guys. so jadilah i manusia yang tegas bila berkata2, tapi hati kita tetap baik.... i think i've been very nice to my patients (terperasanlah pulak!), to my colleagues and subordinates. siapa yang buat kerja up to the standard, no attitude problem, kita tak delah marah, kita boleh puji lagi!

frankly, i have no intention to hurt her, it's part of training. when it comes to new things in life, everybody starts from zero. you are not required to know things automatically, but you need to learn smartly and fast. you need to be 'peka', observant, alert and focus in life. i'm not saying that i'm good but i'll always try not to be a burden to someone else. make yourself useful and helpful to other people. during my housemanship dulu, whenever you enter a new posting, you are required to know everything about your patients on day 1, no excuse! when the BOSS come, u need to present the cases without looking at the casenotes, complete with progress and management plan. failing doing so, telan jelah apa kata2 boss hari tu. kalau mood dia baik, boleh dapat excuse, kalau mood tak bagus... makan hati jugalah!

life is TOUGH. when the going gets tough, the tough gets going!!! this is where training played a mojar role. i am very thankful that during my undergraduate days in UKM, we have been trained to do this before we graduated, so dulu2 boss senang hati sikit ngan graduates UKM. tapi itu dululah... la ni i tak berani nak comment, sebab lecturers dah tak sama, approach pun tak sama. lecturers and bosses are far more lenient nowadays. i myself treat my medical officers as friends and adik, am quite open with them and some even come to me when they have problems. asal jangan besar kepala sudahlah!

i always believe that the toughest people on earth are the doctors. doctors must be mentally and emotionally strong, not to forget that learning medicine made us humble and spiritually better. we learned the hard way, duduk universiti pun jadual macam budak sekolah, cuti tak pernah lebih one month walhal faculty lain boleh cuti berbulan2. our exams are tougher - written exams, osce, short cases, long cases and viva. that's why when sheikh muszaffar was named as the first malaysian astronaut, i tak pelik bacause he must be mentally stronger than faiz, who is a dentist and army officer, eventhough physically faiz appears tougher.

rambut sama hitam, hati lain-lain. hakikatnya begitulah. i cannot expect people to be like me, and behave like i do. people learn at different pace, some are fast learners, some are slow. i just have to be more patient and should be able to put myself in their shoes. but what is more important is you need to be focused in life. time is too precious to be wasted. kerja biar betul2, balik rumah rehat betul2. that's why i tak suka bawa balik kerja ke rumah, my time at home is exclusively for my children, my dear hubbyby and some private time for myself (u do need some time alone, believe me!).

anyway, i learned something today - patience and tolerance! thanks for the sincere comment.

but remember, 'life so short, the craft so long to learn'. it's better to be a bird than a turtle!

cerita antu

walaupun boleh dikatakan agak penakut, i sebenarnya suka tengok cerita antu/seram/thriller. kalau tengok siang hari memang tak de apa2lah. tapi kalau tengok malam2, emm... keseraman tu membawa ke tidur. sebab itulah kalau my hubbyby tak de kat rumah, or i'm away from home, selalunya i tried not to watch cerita2 macam gitu. kalu tidak tak pasal2 tak leh tidur.

tadi tengok puaka niyang rapik (PNR) kat tv3. cerita tu to me biasa je, tak menyeramkan pun so tak de kick sangat. tapi kalu cerita Kekasihku Seru dulu agak seram juga sebab ceritanya real sikit, hantunya pun nampak real n menakutkan sikit compared to PNR. ternanti2 juga nak tgk kekasihku seru dulu. tapi movie yang betul2 seram dah lama tak tengok. rasanya yang last sekali tengok cerita 'nang nak' - siamese movie

dulu2, masa kat mrsm banyak juga cerita2 seram. paling tak boleh lupa cerita 'orang tua bertongkat'.... hee, tak pasal2 tiba2 terasa semacam pula. tapi memang takutlah masa tu. dahlah pintu bilik kami tak leh kunci, setakat sendal dengan red brick je. tiap2 malam kami akan turunkan tilam ke lantai n tidur ramai2 (4-8 orang). kalau tersedar tengah malam... hee terdengar-dengar je bunyi tongkat dan selipar berjalan... seram!

masa form five pula, i duduk satu bilik 2 orang - special sebab LDP. tapi kami dua2 penakut. my roomate was one year younger than me so nak tak nak kita kena berani sikitlah dari dia. masa tu heboh kisah yang dikaitkan ngan kerabat. takut sampai termimpi2. so masa tu tiap2 malam tidur satu katil dua orang!

anyway, alhamdulillah i tak pernah pula benar2 mengalami kejadian yang menakutkan. ishh.. mintak jauhlah. cuma masa mula2 pindah KT dulu and duduk sorang2 (coz hubbyby belum pindah) pernahlah diwaktu tengah malam masa tengah main pc games tiba2 tercium bau yang sungguh harum! takut nya tak yah ceritalah, cepat2 dengan muka tak pusing kiri kanan, mata concentrate on pc, i cepat2 tutup computer n masuk bilik. nasiblah bau tu tak lama, terlena juga malam tu.

kenapalah i duk tulis pasal citer antu ni? dahlah hubbyby not around. hope i can sleep well tonite.

it's a new day..

a new day. it's a new day indeed.

this is my first post and i hope to be consistent in this. it might not be daily, but i'll try my best. have not been writing for quite sometime, i hope i can still express myself well, with the correct words.

it's a new day for gaza.

the palestinians finally gets a day without bombing after about three weeks being continuously fired by the zionist. but does the sound of terror has finally vanished? NO. now is the time to clear the gaza city, to look-out for the lost loved-ones, to find their nearly rotten bodies, to discover more bodies under the rubbles, to find children with bullets in their heads, women lying motionless still hugging their children, died young. more are now homeless, children turned orphans, more being disabled. more have to suffer the mental trauma and endless terror!! how long will the ceasefire last? hopefully forever, but i'm doubtful of that.

it's a new day for the americans. a new day for the new president, barrack hussein obama. but will the states come out with new policies, esp regarding iraq and the middle east, palestine & israel? doubtful. the zionist are pretty sure and confident enough to say that obama will support them. nevertheless, the moslem countries are still hoping for the best.

let the new day heal the world!

"Think about the generations and
say that we want to make it a better place for our
children and our children's children,
so that they know it's a better world for them"

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel there's no hurt or sorrow

There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space
Make a better place...

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

If you want to know why
There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong it only cares for joyful giving
If we try we shall see
In this bliss we cannot feel fear or dread
We stop existing and start living

Then it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
So make a better world
Make a better world...

And the dream we were conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth, crucify its soul
Though it's plain to see
This world is heavenly
Be god's glow

We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart
I feel you are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears
See the nations turn
Their swords into plowshares

We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space
To make a better place...

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

Heal the World!

straight from the heart

June 4th, today is mr. hubbyby's birthday.

what do i have to say about my hubbyby. haha... sorrylah, tak leh cerita lebih2 about my dear hubbyby. private and confidential!

happy birthday, dear! alah... hubbyby bukannya baca my blog... pernah sekali je dia baca, tu pun sebab i wanted to show it to him. dia tak add pun my blog's address as his favourite site on his computer. biasalah... busy as always!

dear hubbyby, if you terbuka hati nak baca, then this is my dedication to you: