garang??

Today i was told by a colleague that i've been 'garang' towards someone. Ha.. ha... what a blow! I accepted that comment with an open mind and a BIG smile :) . lagipun i memang agak 'garang', tapi itu dululah... now rasanya i dah banyak boleh control, more matured, more calm, lebih tenteram. i can even smile and laugh at myself bila orang cakap gitu. i am open to criticism he.. he.. :P

i wouldn't say that i 'garang' to that particular person, it's just that i'm being FIRM with her. i have trained myself to be an opiniated person and firm in the way that i deliver/express my views since i was in primary school. i really cannot tolerate girls who are lembik, getik or mengada2 esp. in front of the guys. so jadilah i manusia yang tegas bila berkata2, tapi hati kita tetap baik.... i think i've been very nice to my patients (terperasanlah pulak!), to my colleagues and subordinates. siapa yang buat kerja up to the standard, no attitude problem, kita tak delah marah, kita boleh puji lagi!

frankly, i have no intention to hurt her, it's part of training. when it comes to new things in life, everybody starts from zero. you are not required to know things automatically, but you need to learn smartly and fast. you need to be 'peka', observant, alert and focus in life. i'm not saying that i'm good but i'll always try not to be a burden to someone else. make yourself useful and helpful to other people. during my housemanship dulu, whenever you enter a new posting, you are required to know everything about your patients on day 1, no excuse! when the BOSS come, u need to present the cases without looking at the casenotes, complete with progress and management plan. failing doing so, telan jelah apa kata2 boss hari tu. kalau mood dia baik, boleh dapat excuse, kalau mood tak bagus... makan hati jugalah!

life is TOUGH. when the going gets tough, the tough gets going!!! this is where training played a mojar role. i am very thankful that during my undergraduate days in UKM, we have been trained to do this before we graduated, so dulu2 boss senang hati sikit ngan graduates UKM. tapi itu dululah... la ni i tak berani nak comment, sebab lecturers dah tak sama, approach pun tak sama. lecturers and bosses are far more lenient nowadays. i myself treat my medical officers as friends and adik, am quite open with them and some even come to me when they have problems. asal jangan besar kepala sudahlah!

i always believe that the toughest people on earth are the doctors. doctors must be mentally and emotionally strong, not to forget that learning medicine made us humble and spiritually better. we learned the hard way, duduk universiti pun jadual macam budak sekolah, cuti tak pernah lebih one month walhal faculty lain boleh cuti berbulan2. our exams are tougher - written exams, osce, short cases, long cases and viva. that's why when sheikh muszaffar was named as the first malaysian astronaut, i tak pelik bacause he must be mentally stronger than faiz, who is a dentist and army officer, eventhough physically faiz appears tougher.

rambut sama hitam, hati lain-lain. hakikatnya begitulah. i cannot expect people to be like me, and behave like i do. people learn at different pace, some are fast learners, some are slow. i just have to be more patient and should be able to put myself in their shoes. but what is more important is you need to be focused in life. time is too precious to be wasted. kerja biar betul2, balik rumah rehat betul2. that's why i tak suka bawa balik kerja ke rumah, my time at home is exclusively for my children, my dear hubbyby and some private time for myself (u do need some time alone, believe me!).

anyway, i learned something today - patience and tolerance! thanks for the sincere comment.

but remember, 'life so short, the craft so long to learn'. it's better to be a bird than a turtle!