kita anak merdeka?

lagu warisan - anak kecil main api, ada nostalgianya yang tersendiri.

sebagai anak didik MARA, lagu warisan ini sentiasa kami nyanyikan sewaktu assembly, sama seperti lagu negaraku dan lagu maktab. maaf, 5 tahun di kuantan, kita tak pernah nyanyi lagu negeri pahang.

masa zaman sekolah, ada yang menentang bila lagu ini harus dinyanyikan, kononnya terlalu memuja semangat bangsa - assabiyah! tapi kita ada persepsi kita yang tersendiri bila kita nyanyi lagu ni.

lagu ini ditulis oleh prof. dr. nordin kardi. liriknya kalau di amati, memang boleh menaikkan semangat anak melayu, bangsa yang kita banggakan, tapi juga bangsa yang mudah alpa. melayu mudah lupa. melayu suka angan2 mat jenin. melayu yang semangatnya hangat2 tahi ayam. melayu malas. melayu yang hanyut... dan bagaikan lalang yang tegak berdiri, tapi tidak gagah melawan arus angin.

itukah jiwa anak melayu pasca-merdeka? tidak kenal sejarah, tidak faham jerit perih nenek moyang kita terdahulu berjuang menentang penjajah. tidak mengerti deritanya orang dulu-dulu ditindas dan dipijak di bumi sendiri. tidak sedar bahawa hak kita dirampas.

kita harus bangun! jangan benarkan kita dijajah lagi. zahirnya kita sudah merdeka tetapi merdekakah pemikiran kita?

52 tahun merdeka... sudah separuh abad. kalau manusia, sudah beranak dan mungkin bercucu. tapi kita masih meraba2 mencari kata sepakat masyarakat majmuk.

indahnya menjadi rakyat malaysia berbilang kaum, itu yang kita laungkan dari dulu. tapi hakikatnya, 52 tahun bersama, kita masih canggung sesama sendiri. menonton iklan kemerdekaan di kaca tv adakalanya membuat kita tertawa dan malu sendiri, semuanya lakonan yang entah bila boleh menjadi kenyataan. irama 1Malaysia yang dinyanyikan bersama pelbagai bangsa juga catchy dan mengajak kita menyanyi bersama, tetapi cukupkah setakat ramai2 menyanyi tanpa ada pengertian di jiwa dan diterjemahkan dengan perlakuan dan imej 1Malaysia yang sepatutnya.

sewaktu bersama mahu mencapai kemerdekaan dahulu, Tunku pernah bertanya pada semua, "mahukah kamu terima, ini bumi melayu? ini tanah melayu?".

52 tahun merdeka, kita masih seperti anak kecil yang masih mahu disuap dan dibantu. masih tidak mampu berdikari. masih terjajah dengan kejahilan dan kebodohan serta kealpaan.

bangunlah... jangan hanya tahu melaungkan kata-kata hikmat hang tuah "tak Melayu hilang di dunia", tapi bangkitlah dengan segala rasa insaf, sedar dan tanggungjawab.

jayakan satu malaysia. negara kita tanggungjawab kita!

home sweet home

balik rumah... memang best. walaupun dah ada rumah sendiri, rumah mak masih best.

alhamdulillah, kita memang bersyukur sgt2, dibesarkan dalam family yang sungguh best ni. cuti kali ni, besides me, Liza, Nadjee and Elly also returned home. semua ambik kesempatan cuti 31st august utk balik berbuka di KB. dan seperti biasa, rumah akan gamat ngan anak2.

i reached home around 11am last friday. liza and nadjee dah balik dari wednesday. petang tu... seperti diidamkan, kami berbuka ngan nasi kerabu bersama lauk pauknya termasuk daging bakar. ahh.... heaven! siap tambah nasi.. dan masih rasa nak tambah lagi, tapi.. tak leh tamak... berhentilah sebelum kenyang!

lepas solat... seperti biasa, lay-park sambil borak and tunggu elly sampai from KL. elly sampai kul 12.30am.

after subuh, the children sibuk nak bersihkan kolam ikan koi ayah. sedih nengok warna air kolam tu... both ayah n che mana larat nak cuci kolam tu selalu. yang paling kalut masa nak cuci kolam is che... dia memang tak tahu duduk diam. dah lah malam tu dah sakit2 badan sebab sibuk nak sediakan food! bila disuruh duduk je, dia senyum. she doesn't trust org lain buat kerja dia. suruh cucu jemurkan kain pun dia tak percaya, semua nak buat sendiri.

back to the kolam ikan, akhirnya 3 ekor ikan yang besar and a few ikan kecik ditemui kelemasan di dlm air kolam yang sangat keruh itu. che kata ikan2 tu mati sebab mabuk bila ramai sgt cucu dia main air kolam tu! seekor ikan besar yang sudah nyawa2 ikan akhirnya dapat diselamatkan. kolam pun kembali berseri..

lepas anak2 cuci kolam, nadjee, elly, me and my niece, alynn, went shopping! plan asal nak gi ziarah parkson yang baru bukak. hee... rasa dah lama betul tak masuk dlm KB town, esp area pasar siti khadijah tu.. yelah area tu memang sesak sentiasa. selalunya kita gi KB mall and cari tudung kat pasar MPKB. kita drive kereta ayah gi KB, hehe... sayang nak bawak c-puteh masuk tempat yg penuh sesak! sekarang KB town dah buat one way route since 11 ogos, so kena ikut flow je lah. alhamdulillah, dpt parking kat basement. the building itself belum siap sepenuhnya, tapi depa nak bukak gak b4 raya. parkson tu oklah... banyak barang2 yang elok2. macam parkson kat tempat lain gak. suka hati jumpa Tiffany. kita suka beli brooch tiffany, tapi dulu kena gi KL to get it.

ingatkan nak gi ariani, yang kini dibuka di wakaf che yeh.. tapi dah 2pm. kena balik rumah dulu. since kami semua ada plan nak shopping lagi, we suggested to mum tak yah masak petang tu, and beli je nasi kukus special. tapi petang semalam hujan, so malaslah nak gi ariani.

lepas terawikh, liza+family balik KT and elly+family balik rumah in-lawnya. so... sunyi pulak rumah tu. i terus masuk tidur sebab ngantuk sangat2.

plan ari ni? may be ke KB Mall, Ariani and Pasar MPKB. tapi kita sebenarnya tak ghairah sangat nak beli tudung coz baju belum siap, takut tak matching pula.

ehmm... itulah seronoknya jadi perempuan, kita tak pernah bosan... asalkan ada geng satu kepala, ada tempat nak shopping dan ada duit. dan utk kita, mesti kena ada captain future.. tak sedap hati kalau sehari tak sentuh captain future!

see you again later. daa...

life... what's cooking??

we had our iftar at a restaurant called Paradise Deluxe last night.the children were excited to berbuka kat luar.

kami adakan majlis berbuka to all Amethyst's staffs and ex-staffs. currently we have 6 staffs (including 3, who are doing attachment utk prog keusahawanan), and 5 ex-staffs. all of them made it for the majlis iftar, except of-course, the late arwah Wawa.

glad to see the previous staffs. i lebih rapat ngan the previous staffs berbanding ngan current ones, sebab now i jarang gi kedai. dulu, i biasa jaga kedai ngan Lan and Pian. dah macam adik2 kita.

before puasa, i dah buat makan2 for my colleagues at Payang Serai restaurant. i tak panggil semua, just the MOs and one specialist. mereka yang banyak berkongsi susah senang bersama, dah lama pun niat nak belanja diorang. bukan tak nak buat utk semua tapi dah suntuk, tak sempat. kalau nak belanja semua staffs i prefer buat makan2 kat klinik je.

kita sebenarnya memang suka majlis bagi orang makan2. kalau rumah kita presentable, and kita pandai masak, rasanya kita akan selalu jemput kawan datang rumah kita for makan2. tapi mesti ada maidlah... kalau tak penat gak!

hari ni kita nak bali KB! kita balik ngan anak2 je. hubbyby tak ikut sebab sejak ramadhan, dia bukak kedai hari jumaat, he will only balik KB on sunday.

kita akan balik KT semula on monday 31st August, but hubbyby and sofea will stay in KB till 1st September, sebab nak service c-puteh kat toyota KB. kalau nak service kat KT kena tunggu 14 September.

the children are excited nak balik KB. Hanif dah kemas baju. ummi still on the computer.. hehe. hubbyby pun sibuk duk tanya bila nak balik. insyallah, kul 8 nanti kita bertolak.

may we have a safe journey. TaTa!

1st week of Ramadhan

alhamdulillah, it has been almost a week since we started fasting last saturday.

hanif is doing well, cuma on the first day nampak penat sikit. dia dah puasa penuh since standard one. sofea would always say she wants to puasa, but would continue eating after imsak.

i have tried my best to be as efficient as possible sejak tak de maid. and i kinda getting used to it... cuma kena ada more effort in cooking. yang lain-lain dah ada banyak progress. tapi i tak suka mop lantai, and tak de masa nak siram pokok. hanif yang siram pokok. hubbyby would manage the bathrooms and toilets.

we don't quite like the food at the bazaar ramadhan. after a few days of buying, hubbyby voiced-out that he prefered home-cooked food. so i tried to prepare at least 2 dishes lepas balik kerja. it would be sayur and satu lagi would be a seafood-based dish, sebab cepat nak prepare. ikan and ayam or daging kena defrost lama sikit before boleh masak, and selalunya tak sempatlah kalau hari kerja.

we do not take rice for sahur. the sahur is much simpler. we usually have bread with butter and cheese, toasted the traditional way, not using the bread-toaster. hashbrown potatoes and mushroom soup. and yesterday we had spaghetti bolognaise. hanif would also have his usual cereals.

l have other plans for sahur... pancakes, garlic bread, tuna sandwich. may be fried mee or fried nasi goreng, but i tak suka oily food, especially during sahur.

i'm quite efficent in clearing the table and cleaning the dishes. everything would be cleared before 8pm for iftar. kita memang tak suka tengok sink penuh and meja yang tak dikemaskan. i slept early after the prayers... penat! and kena bangun at least at 4.30 am for sahur. so... dah lama jugak tak tidur lepas kul 11 malam.

during sahur time, i would do the washing of clothes too, and iron the clothes while waiting for subuh. kain yang tak perlu iron would usually be folded before iftar, or malam after solat.

tadarus kat klinik, kita masuk surah ali-imraan. and kat rumah, kita baru habis surah al-hijr, but this is continuation from my usual reading. this ramadhan, kita tak mula dari al-baqarah... rasanya macam tak sempat je, sebab banyak buat kerja lain and ngantuk!

hari ni kita nak balik KB. ehm... rasa nak makan nasi kerabu and daging bakar.. yum, yum...

c-puteh

siapa c-puteh? a new family addition. it's my new car.

registered on August 12th, but laid my eyes for the first time on her on August 16th. it's a Toyota Camry 2.0 in pearl white. asalnya nak color lain, tapi dah tak de, so terpaksa tambah RM800 utk the pearl white color.

tapi the blue citra masih ada, banyak kegunaannya. do we really need a new car? sebenarnya kita geram ngan citra. niat beli MPV dulu, sebab nak bagi anak2 selesa bila jalan jauh. but a mini MPV like citra tak ada space utk barang2. akhirnya, bila kami nak jalan jauh, the third row seat terpaksa dikeluarkan, utk letak barang. tapi kita masih rasa tak selamat coz people from outside the car can see apa barang yang ada kat dalam kereta.

so we think we should get a sedan. lagipun anak cuma dua orang. the MPV can still be used especially for hubbyby. dia selalu nak upload banyak barang to hantar to his customers. his old kancil can be used by his staffs utk pergi buat kerja kat rumah customers.

best gak bawak camry ni. honestly, dulu kita tak pernah minat camry, sebab dia nampak besar and tak sporty, sesuai utk orang tua2. besides BMW, kita suka honda dan pernah hampir2 beli civic instead of citra dulu. then ,ingatkan nak beli accord, tapi bila keluar camry 2008 models, berkenan pula kat camry. lagipun the new accord tu nampak terlalu gah utk kita. kitakan low profile.

kita juga minat peugeot 407 dan alfa romeo, dan berkenan juga ngan mazda 6. lately, i nampak mazda 3, sporty and cantik gak. my hubbyby minat ngan mitsubishi lancer yang baru. kita pun suka jugak, nampak macho and manly, tapi bila tgk dari depan macam muka darth vader pula. lancer ni nostalgic... ingat masa kecik2 dulu, ayah pernah nak beli lancer, tapi kita semua minat ngan ford laser, so ayah beli ford laser.

harap the new car tak akan membebankan kami. we need the value of the money spent, biar berbaloi. cuma, harap dapat cepat pindah rumah baru sebab the current house yang kami sewa ni tak cukup space utk parking semua kereta tu. sayang pula nak dibiarkan berembun, baik camry mahupun citra. kancil tu tak pe sebab tuan dia tak kisah pun.

kita juga harap dapat mengekalkan c-puteh dengan warnanya yang putih bersih... kena rajin basuh keretalah nampaknya...

M.I.S.S.I.N.G

missing.

missing someone.

missing a friend.

missing - more than words can say!

simple paddington - this is for you..

August 18th 1984 - the day my niece, Nusaibah aka Nuha was born in Cardiff, Wales. Nuha, i remember your birthday, but was too busy and got no time to blog. anyway, this is a delayed birthday wish.

i know you were looking forward towards your 25th birthday. nape looking forward sgt2, enda pun tak tahu. may be excited, biasalah pompuan. semangatnya celebrate birthday 2 days earlier, bersama ayam panggang!

Nuha, i miss you. rasanya baru lagi nuha balik masa summer holidays lepas. and we went to KL together, and i mengigau tengah2 malam dengan ketawa yang menakutkan. ingat tak?

dalam ramai2 nieces, rasanya you yang paling rapat ngan kami the aunties. kenape ye? may be sebab you duduk KB dulu, and selalu ada kat rumah che. and kami jaga you dari kecik and sentiasa terpaksa melawan karenah you yang memang mengada2. nuha masa kecik sungguh cute, bersama rambut panjangnya yang sangat cantik. sungguh nakal, suka dengar orang tua bercakap. suka kacau kami solat, sampai buat org ketawa, lepas tu you ketawa evil! suka tanya banyak questions sampai enda tak tahu nak jawab. suka suruh kami bercerita before tidur. suka berebut main computer games dari dulu, kini dan selamanya.

kita share banyak hobbies yang sama - reading novels, suka tgk tv, suka gossip dan ketawakan orang, suka buat benda giler2, suka main games, suka shopping dan yang paling best suka main rambut - you main rambut i, then i main rambut you. tapi you ni lembik... tak tahu main sports, nape ye?

dah umur 25 ni, kenalah matured sikit. enda terharu juga sbb enda ni kan idola nuha utk jadi doktor. so kenalah buat betul2, focus babe! lupakan dan pinggirkan benda2 remeh temeh tu. enda tahu nuha smart, you sure can be a good doctor. jangan segan dan malu bertanya, belajar ngan mat saleh ni kena banyak cakap sikit, kalau tak dia kata kita passive. be a save doctor!

jagalah diri di perantauan... jagalah Puteh, kereta yang you sayang tu. belajarlah jadi pemandu yang selamat. practice makes perfect. kalau rasa tak leh jaga Puteh, jual je. duit hasil jualan Puteh tu sila simpan utk beli souvenirs utk kami. remember, your aunties semuanya suka souvenire dari dulu, kini dan selamanya. enda nak gak gi NZ, tapi rasanya tahun ni cam tak sempat je..

nuha, i hope you will meet your Mr Right soon. tapi now, focus on studies dulu. belajarlah untuk suka kepada kanak2, supaya you boleh jadi ibu mithali macam enda... hehe. cepat2lah balik, dan maghilah kerja kat KT. tapi kalau kerja kat KT mesti kerja bagus tau, jangan bagi malu enda pulak, haha.

selamat belajar dan selamat berbahagia. enjoy life as it comes. balik nanti, you will sure miss your friends and NZ. stay cute, stay cheerful! keep blogging, i like your blog - Tale to Tell

luv ya! hugs and kisses from me... mmmuah... mmmuah!

sepet, gubra and the revelation

rasa cam dah lama sangat tak update this blog. many reasons. main reason - no time for blogging. another big reason - my streamyx still not functioning, and my dial-up connection is way toooooo SLOW. and i am a person who can't really tolerate S.L.O.W.ness.

it has been few weeks since the late Yasmin Ahmad passed away. may she rest in peace. no matter what people says about her, and the recent revelation, i think she is just a beautiful person. i admire creative people, she is one of them. and her ability to touch people's inner feelings with her beautifully casted movies and advertisements were just superb.

i have never really watched her movies, but i like all the advertisements directed/produced by her. i don't know... i seldom watch malay movies. pernah tengok sikit2, but never really duduk tengok sampai habis satu movie.

since Yasmin passed away, astro had a channel yang tayang balik her movies. and i watched Sepet and Gubra. my comments... both are wonderful movies. different, stood by itself and touching.

Sepet - a beautiful love story told in an honest and beautiful way. about Orked and Jason. i love to see the cute and talkative, witty, spontaneous little Orked. her fresh face and long straight hair makes her look innocent and pure and pristine. jason, a chinese guy who is actually a contrast to Orked - romantic, a guy with few words. love is blind. love sees no boundaries.

there was an incident towards the end of the movie. jason had to break-off with orked for another girl whom he never loved but was trapped. life goes on... orked got a scholarship to study abroad. on the way to the airport, she finally read the letter Jason sent her, after persuaded by her mom. the letter was sooo beautiful and touching. she tried to call him. too late, jason was knocked over his bike on the way to the airport.

GUBRA - is actually a sequel to Sepet. orked got married to a malay guy. but the guy cheated her. she found it hard to forgive him, no matter how hard he tried. orked met Alan, jason's brother. at the end of the movie, orked walked out of her husband's home. the scene was beautifully potrayed - she walked out of that big house with a BMW and big bike, and get into Alan's humble pick-up motorvan, and went to Alan's humble home. in a room, she was seated on a single bed, and alan gave her a box. she opened it up to find all her memories with Jason were carefully kept there. his wallet with their photos inside, the pictures together, his letters that were never sent, two books of poems and his old handphone. she cried. tears rolling on my cheeks too.

the movies were simple, but the storytelling and the way the story was told, makes me like it. Jujur, enlightening, enriching. it makes you laugh and smile, and there were moments that you feel your throat is lumpy and tears start pooling in the corner of your eyes. tiada imej orang kaya2, mak datin dan kereta besar as usually seen in malay movies. tiada perempuan dan lelaki yang tersangat cantik dan tersangat handsome as the the main casts. ia cerita kehidupan yang biasa kita lalui. it is so close to our heart. so simple, pure and yet touching.

there are so many things that you wish to have in your life. but you may not have it all.

life is survival. the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, but they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. make a prayer - for His taufiq and hidayah.

mummy returns

... standing on the edge of something much too deep,

funny how i feel so much but cannot say a word...

we are screaming inside, oh, but we can't be heard!

haha... this entry has nothing to do with mummy returns - the movie. but its me returning to blogging.

at last... i can get connected again. had problems with streamyx since last saturday - bad weather, thunderstorm etc. sampai la ni my streamyx still not functioning. now using dial-up. this is not yet reported to hubbyby.. kesian dia, he has been very busy lately. and extra busy since the last 2 days coz i balik lewat due to a seminar that we organized. so the children had to stay at amethyst till i picked them up.

penat gak. last night, i slept early.. before 10. was really tired.

sekejap je dah thursday. 3 hari tak tgk patient and was away from the hospital, rasa hilang stress kerja kejap. cuma stress nak ensure seminar runs smoothly je. now everything dah over. alhamdulillah. lega. will make an entry about the seminar later.

returned to clinic petang tadi. tiba2 rasa semacam.. ambiencenya berbeza. ada new regulations. sometimes i wonder why lately, a lot of decisions were made without taking into account our opinions. previously, all decision making related to running of the department were made by consencus among the specialists. macam ada something fishy. it is us who actually run the clinic and deal with the patients, they should have at least asked our opinions, ni macam kami ni sama level je ngan subordinates. or is it b'coz we now talked too much? ape2 jelah... as long as we can enjoy working. funny... how we feel so much but cannot say a word... we are screaming inside, oh, but we can't be heard...

hmm.. balik rumah, banyak tugasan menunggu. kain dah ada 2 bakul to be washed. last few days hujan, nasib baik tak basuh kain. the floor need to be vacuumed and mopped. the aquarium need to be cleaned. the rain has at least helped me watered the plants.

my maid is supposed to return tomorrow night. balik ke tidak? ntahlah... she hasn't called since we wired her the money. harap baliklah..

esok on call. harap semua berjalan lancar. mmm.. penat!