friendship isn't how you forget, but how you forgive;
not how you listen, but how you understand;
not how you see, but how you feel;
not how you let go; but how you hold on!
friends come and go, but true friends can grow separately without growing apart..
many people will walk in and out of you life,
but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
true friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget..
a long, quiet weekend!
spending it all alone. mau mati kebosanan dibuatnya. hubbyby and children balik kampung MIL, kita tak leh ikut, oncall.
hari ni okay sikit, alhamdulillah. semalam rasa sangat depress.. sunyi, lonely sampai nak demam. siang2 hari pakai sweater and stokin. tapi kipas tetap kena pasang, kalo tak.. rasa cam tak de ventilation. tekak sangat2 loya... sampai takut nak makan. kita memang tak suka experience vomiting, ngeri..
ntah kenapa semalam sangat depress.. nak baca Quran and solat, tak leh. red flag. tengok cerita melayu kat tv sampai nangis2. then tgk movie org putih.. cerita bodoh je tapi layan jugak.. nak main game, dah bosan. tak de game baru. internet... tak menarik. dah bosan ngan facebook. dan tak de emel menarik nak balas. nak download movie.. slow bangat. baca novel.. hambar. telephone hubbyby 2-3 kali, tak berjawab, sms berkali2 tak respon.. depress!! biasala.. hubbyby kalo balik rumah mak, mesti tido je kerjanya.
nasib baik kul 8.15 mlm, dapat call kena gi spital tgk pengarah kesihatan negeri yang dapat eye trauma. terpaksa gagahkan diri keluar rumah malam2.. but alhamdulillah, bila dah kena bangun and keluar rumah, terpaksa la 'hidup' semula. on the way back, singgah kedai beli roti and juice. ingat nak cari ice cream, tapi tak de. kalo dapat double dutch.. sedap juga.
alhamdulillah, bangun hari ni lebih bersemangat. badan segar, dan dah tak loya2 lagi.
habis ward round, pergi town kejap. stop depan pustaka seri intan nak beli paper je, tapi biasala.. pompuan, bila dah nampak magazine.. ralit pulak belek magazine. akhirnya bila keluar.. hah!! kena saman parking. mesti hubbyby membebel kalo dapat tahu. rajin betul MPKT tu saman parking la ni..
then gi Ariani, nak cari tudung raya. belek2.. dapat la 2 helai, memang nak cari 2 helai pun. tapi baju raya ada 5 pasang lagi tak siap.. maknanya.. aktiviti beli tudung akan bersambung bila baju dah siap nanti. sempat ke siap?? ntah la.. yg tempah ngan cina 3 pasang.. sebulan je siap. 5 lagi tu ngan melayu.. ntah bila nak siap. camana melayu nak maju?
hari ni hubbyby pergi kb, harap2 dapatla hubbyby carikan ayam percik kb yg sedap tu..
pagi semalam sempat menjenguk sahabat di kamar hospital. sudah 2 minggu admitted. dehydrated, severe vomiting, tidak sebiji nasi pun dapat di telan. bukan baru 2 minggu, tapi sejak 10 minggu lalu. air kosong pun tak dapat ditelan. segala yang disuap, keluar semula. sehingga keluar blood-streaked vomitous.
dia yang sentiasa ceria, kini lemah tak bermaya. kurus dan cengkung. terlantar di katil. bukan senang nak jadi ibu.. banyak dugaannya. seperti kata beliau, lepas satu, satu derita menimpa. mulanya hanya tak lalu makan, kemudian muntah-muntah, terus sehingga fainting attack. demam panas. lelah yang datang dan pergi. kemudian orthostatic pleural effusion. dan terkini PV bleed. and last thursday, she finally aborted, tapi incomplete. saat diziarah, beliau menanggung contraction pain, sakit belakang dan lower abdomen. sama seperti mahu melahirkan. sakitnya belum berkesudahan. prosedur dirancang belum dapat dilakukan, dan beliau dipindahkan ke high dependancy room.
berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul. saat kita sibuk mencari rahmat dan ganjaran ramadhan, beliau terlantar tak mampu berbuat apa2.
semoga segalanya dipermudahkan untuk beliau. dan semoga beliau lekas pulih dan sembuh. doa kami mengiringinya.
we miss you, Dah. luv ya..
when i get new things in exchange for an old one, it doesn't mean that i hate the old one..
i really love my htc touch.. so much, that it's like a romance between me and the phone. it's a gift from hubbyby (he seldom buy me gifts), and the phone itself has some sentimental value of its own. i love its features and really like the user-friendly windows system. but i need to make way for a better and more reliable gadget. my htc has some unresolved issues.. and staying in this 'under-developed city' makes it difficult for me to get it repaired. it failed to function the way i need it to be last saturday.. and i need a replacement, fast.
since using htc, i prefer touch-screen phones. i was actually eyeing for htc desire, htc hdmini and htc legend. and apple iphone was also in the wish-list, slick and slim with a reputable performance. but.. it may be too expensive for the simple me, who would only be using the gadget for calls, texting, taking pictures (in the absence of my ixus), digital calendar/diary, making reminders and updating my 'to-do list'. i have good broadband service at home, therefore i may only need the internet service while i'm away from home.
since i need the new phone quite urgently, i didn't really have time to browse thru the net. a short discussion with hubbyby on the features that i need, and we make way to the shop that we're used to. the shop assistant handed me few items.. samsung wave (menarik!!), nokia e72, blackberry, and few other nokia phones. i finally end-up with..
haha.. ok, it doesn't look so trendy.. but i think it has good functions. and nokia has always produced reliable user-friendly phones. so that's it... my new nokia N97mini (in garnet). it measures 113 mm x 52 mm wide and 14 mm thick whilst weighing 138 grams. it also provides a 3.2 inch TFT touch screen that is able to display 16 million colours at a pixel screen size of 360 x 640. and it also has the full QWERTY keyboard which is an excellent addition (but keypad keras sikit and need to be put on a table br sedap pakai). so far, i byk guna virtual keypad (touchscreen). but its stylus sungguh tak menarik.. ;(
it also comes with a 5 megapixel camera with carl zeiss optics. a secondary camera is also included. got mp3/mp4 player and a built-in radio. 8Gb memory storage is included within the unit with the opportunity to double it to 16Gb by using the microSD slot provided. connectivity is provided by GPRS, EDGE, bluetooth and USB connection. juga ada GPS and is bundled with the popular nokia maps.
hmm.. belum habis explore the new phone.. tak sempat dan tak pandai. nak tanya hubbyby pun dia bukan jenis IT savvy. nampak gaya his nokia e71 pun kita yg akan update kan nanti.
though dlm hati still wishing for iphone.. but i'm happy with this N97mini.
'biar alah membeli, tapi menang memakai' ;p
ramadhan kembali..
saat ke masjid menunaikan terawikh di malam pertama ramadhan selasa lepas, hati tiba2 terkenang ramadhan yang telah lalu.. teringat bulan puasa dulu2.
kanak2 sekarang beruntung dan lebih bagus berbanding dulu. umur masih di tadika sudah berpuasa. kita dulu, darjah satu.. baru puasa yang-yuk, balik sekolah bukak periuk. darjah dua baru kita mula puasa, itupun, cuma 8 hari je (kawan2 kat sekolah pun sama).. masuk darjah 3, dapat la 27 hari.. 3 hari tewas kepada godaan adik2. hehe.. masa tu tengok adik makan roti ngan planta pun macam ahh.. sungguh lazat! tapi.. kita tak pernah curi2 makan. setiap kali tak tahan mesti bagitau mak. kiranya, berbuka ngan izin la..
ingat lagi masa kecik2 dulu, sungguh excited nak puasa. tapi susahnya nak bangun sahur.. makan sambil mata separuh terpejam. kemudian sama2 baca niat puasa depan ayah. paling seronok time lepak lepas sahur sambil tunggu subuh. kita adik beradik akan duduk dalam gelap kat ruang tamu, sambil kakak bercerita itu-ini. dalam tahun 1980.. kita puasa bulan july/ogos. masa tu kakak2 balik summer holidays from UK.. so masa sahur ni, kita akan sama2 melantak coklat dr UK yang ahhh... sangat sedap dan sedap dan sedap!!
bila bukak puasa, selain masak lauk, mak akan masak kueh.. and kita bagi2 kat jiran. kita pun dapat merasa kueh jiran. bagus tul zaman tu.. semangat kejiranan yang jitu. kalau time sahur nampak dapur jiran belakang rumah still gelap, mak akan suruh kita tepon kejutkan depa bangun sahur.
bukak puasa memang best, makan sama2.. kueh and lauk penuh meja.. ye la.. adik beradik ramai. meriah! sampai sekarang, berbuka di rumah che memang meriah dan gamat.. cucunya dah dekat 50 orang!! nasib baik cucu perempuan ramai, boleh tolong2 kat dapur.
seronok juga bila ingat terawikh. rumah kita memang dekat ngan masjid, so senang je gi masjid, tak yah ikut mak, boleh gi sendiri je. biasanya pakat dulu ngan member, then jalan sama2 gi masjid. budak2.. biasala, bersosial yang lebih.. kami duduk saf belakang2, and suka cakap macam2. dulu imam baca laju sangat2, and baca surah pendek2 (ayat lazim), tak macam imam tahfiz sekarang. so, kalo solat 20 rakaat tu cepat je habis. meriahnya terawikh bila menyahut bacaan in between the solat terawikh.. suka!! tapi sebab penat.. kami suka melengah2kan angkat takbir. bila org dah aminkan fatihah, baru angkat takbiratulihram. pastu, bila org solat witir, kita dah sibuk kemas2, bersedia menolong org sediakan jamuan lepas terawikh (moreh). rajin betul bab tolong jamuan ni.. sebab blh makan lebih. biasanya setiap rumah kat taman guru akan gilir2 sediakan jamuan.
kita tak de experience main meriam buluh, tengok pun tak pernah. tak leh bayangkan pun camana meriam buluh. kita setakat main bunga api dan mercun das yang keluar banyak2 color tu. kita ada balcony yang luas kat tingkat atas rumah, and kat situ la kita main mercun tu, bila cousin datang ramai2 baru main kat halaman rumah. masa tu, supplier mercun yang cantik2 tu was pak su who was staying in singapore. cukup seronok tunggu pak su balik.. mesti ada mercun and coklat banyak2. hehe.. memang satu family hantu coklat. tapi bila pak su dah kawin in 1981, dah tak dapat mercun lg. huhu.. rasa sungguh sedih bila pak su kawin.
tapi.. ada satu kenangan bulan puasa yang sangat best. that was while kita masih duduk kampung.. maybe masa umur 4-5 tahun. ingat2 lupa... tapi kita masih ingat meriahnyer ramai org datang rumah kita. org dewasa datang tgk musabaqah, budak2 main2 kat luar rumah... sambil minum air limau kasturi dan main bunga api. rumah ayah memang selalu jadi tumpuan masa kat kampung. everytime balik kg tengok tapak rumah ayah tu... satu perasaan yg tak tahu nak cerita.. nostalgia.. sekarang tapak rumah ayah tu kami dah jadikan tempat untuk student tahfiz berekreasi.
dan best juga bila ingat pergi shopping kasut raya, dan bila dah dapat baju raya. tak boleh nak imagine camana belanja ayah dan che nak sediakan persalinan raya untuk kami semua. ye la.. adik beradik 10 orang. tapi, rasanya baju raya sentiasa ade 2-3 pasang. and bila kakak2 dah start masuk university, depa banyak tolong che. rasanya, che setakat tempah baju kurung je for us, dress and baju lain2 kakak2 yg beli. hehe.. masa tu seronok, dapat baju from kl and oversea.
kami juga rajin buat biskut raya. kita buat dua team in the family, and lawan buat biskut raya. semua kami buat sendiri, ikut resipi dalam magazine. bila time berbuka, sibuk nak merasa yg mana yg sedap. che tak pernah buat biskut raya, dia cuma buat kek je. tapi sekarang, dah tak sempat buat... semua beli je.
haa.. ini gambar malam raya, with cousins. ccuba teka mana satu kita? haa.. yang duduk depan sekali pakai baju merah. dan pak su is the one at the back pakai baju melayu hitam, masa ni dia baru balik from UK, baru abis study. ayah was also standing at the back, pakai songkok and bush jacket berdiri dua dari kanan. suka tgk ayah.. handsome :)
itu semua kenangan hampir 30 tahun yang lalu... hmm.. sungguh2 sudah tua kita! sekarang kami semua dah berjauhan. kat kb cuma ada che dan ayah. kesian mereka tinggal berdua. lebih sayu mengenangkan che adakalanya berbuka sendirian sbb ayah terpaksa berbuka di masjid. minggu lepas kami balik kb, mereka sungguh gembira. minggu ni syam and kakrah akan balik berbuka dgn mereka. kami akan pulang mungkin 2 minggu lagi. next week on call. walau sesibuk mana pun kita, luangkanlah sedikit masa utk kedua ibubapa.. apalah sangat kepenatan travel berbanding keseeronokan mereka berbuka dgn anak2 dan cucu2. berbaktilah selagi mereka ada..
selain beribu ganjaran ramadhan, bulan ini juga penuh rahmat dalam merapatkan hubungan keluarga dan silaturahim sesama insan.
ihya ramadhan!!
Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream
Cinderella theme , crazy as it seems
Always knew that deep inside that there would come that day
That I would have to wait, make so many mistakes
I couldn't comprehend as I watched it unfold
This classic story told I left it in the cold
Walking through unopened doors that led me back to you
Each one unlocking more of the truth
I finally stopped tripping on my youth
I finally got lost inside of you
I finally know I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul
I remember the beginning you already knew
I acted like a fool, just trying to be cool
Frontin' like it didn't matter, I just ran away
Put on another face, was lost in my own space
Found what it's like to hurt selfishly
I was scared to give of me
Afraid to just believe
I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place
Stumbled through the mess that I had made
I finally got out of my own way
I've finally started living for today
I finally know I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul
Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally..
(Finally by Fergie)
