vote Mother Earth! support earth hour.
the earth is aging, and global warming is making it worse. stand up for Earth Hour, take responsibility, get involved and lead the way towards a sustainable future.
switch-off your lights from 8.30 to 9.30 pm tonite.
together, we'll make it happen!
slept late.. for the past few days. felt so groggy in the morning. macam budak2 tak nak bangun gi sekolah, that was how i felt.. really not looking forward to work.
standing in front of my opened closet, wandering what to wear for the day. took out my black blouse and pants, and a matching tudung. hmm.. tak elok cam gini, need to cheer up, pakai baju kurung baru! ada rasa happy? tak jugak..
took sofea to school. bila salam and kiss sofea goodbye, rasa sungguh sayu and sedih. sofea pulak duk bye2 tak henti2. it was so touching, but need to move on.
keluar dari sekolah sofea, nearly knocked a motorbike at a T-junction. bengang betul muka that man, jeling kita semacam je. mesti dia kutuk giler perempuan kecik bawak kereta besar. lantak la.. tak kuasa nak layan. keluar junction jalan pusara, traffic light merah. lambat. jalan clear je kita terus keluar. masuk jln sultan mahmud, ikut blkg wira hitam. alahai... kenapa la sehaluan?? teramat la slow nye pakcik tu drive. cannot overtake, so many cars. tetiba teringat ayah.. terus hilang rasa geram. sabar je..
ward round was okay. but as i was finishing, my superior came and biasala.. ada je yang yak kena. i cannot wait for her, have students waiting for me. so i walked out, and joined the students.
being naughty me.. memang suka kenakan students. haha.. pity that sweet girl with a pony-tail, sampai merah muka.. nasib baik tak nangis. but i cooled down, cracked jokes and stopped asking questions. they wouldn't be able to answer pun.. so dari merosakkan mood sendiri, its better for me to just teach.
missed my breakfast. the clinic was as usual... many patients. a friend make a really hurting statement. it was said in a joking way, but still, it hurts. in this kind of 'weather'.. anything pun sound cynical and sarcastic. and when it comes from someone considered as a friend.. the cut is felt like a stab.
life goes on.. alhamdulillah, i think am much better with the patients nowadays. just don't let things berserabut, and do not disturb me with unnecessary things. i prefer to do a thing at a time. i can easily loose focus nowadays, hence no multitasking.
out of the blue, 'she' called and started blabbering. i listened and gave a short answer. hung up.
lunch at pak awi. lucky day, pak awi belanja side dishes. no appetite. ratah ikan bilis je.
the afternoon was not so good either. but managed to stay calm. settled few things at office. cleared my messy table. alone.. stay by myself... felt like crying. finally decided to do what i should have done long time ago.
no looking back. no regret. final. help me God..
decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free..
shopping... most women loves it. here's what i like..
1. diamonds are women's best friends.
but i don't have many of that. even if i have, i don't really have time to wear it. the nature of my work needs me to always take-off my rings and bracelet whenever i go into operating theaters. and frequent hand-washing using antiseptic wash would damage the fragile jeweleries. earings would always get stucked to my anak tudung, causing pain to the piercing site. cuma necklace je yang kita boleh pakai, but it always buat kita serabut time tidur. kita juga pernah mintak izin my mom utk tukar the necklace she gave me to a simple one bcoz yang dia bagi was quite bulky and hurts my skin whenever i lay down to sleep.
but that doesn't mean i don't love jeweleries. i do. but i do not really shop for it.
2. watches
i love watches. really loves it. last few days saw an all-black/all-white rado wrist-watch. so elegant and sleek. lebih kurang sama ngan the watch yang ayah beli after i graduated from medical school (the watch finally rosak after using for more than 10 years). also suka swatch watches yang sangat fun-looking, tapi mungkin tak sesuai utk kita pakai gi kerja. another problem.. most of the watches jenis muka besar, which is too big for my wrist. yang muka kecik and ladylike ada jugak tapi kurang berkenan.
watches can never go wrong with me.. and most of my watches i boleh pakai lama. hadiah dapat 5A masa primary school kita boleh pakai sampai habis medical school. and the watch that i bought for my graduation in 1996 is still functioning well. yang ayah bagi pun lasted for more than 10 years. tapi sedih gak coz anne klein yg hubbyby beli dah rosak. currently i have about 5 yang kita gilir2 pakai. and there's another 2 yang hubbyby bought last year but too big for my wrist.. so, masih tersimpan kemas dlm kotak.. :(
jeweleries and watches are expensive items, kita fikir banyak kali before kita beli.
3. handbags
mula2 kerja dulu, tak pandai pakai handbag. semua benda sumbat dlm poket whitecoat. tapi bila keluar, byk sgt item yang kena pegang - carkey, purse, handphone, house-key, and pager (dulu pakai pager). as an effort not to loose any of the above things, i finally bought handbags. tapi dulu kita pakai slingbag, sling over one shoulder to the other side of my body. also suka handbags yg dipakai like a backpack. but after i got married, kena la appear more matured and ladylike. so the handbags pun berubah bentuk. spent a lot on handbags, the price of my handbag may reach 4 digits, i will never buy yg lebih dr tu. tapi bila kemas2 and tgk balik handbags lama2 rasa kesal juga. handbags are trendy items, bila out of trend, nampak outdated bila pakai. nak buang sayang, sbb harga mahal. so now, i sgt memilih beli handbags, and try not to spend too much on it.
4. shoes
ini keperluan, bukan kehendak. and i really don't mind spending on it. i have bunions, so its difficult for me to get a really comfortable pair. i really need a comfortable one. as a doctor, i walk a lot. and i walk fast. don't have time utk jalan lenggang lenggok macam itik pulang petang. kalau elevator rosak, kena panjat tangga.. so stiletto is a definite NO. i need some heels because of my height, but not more than 2.5 inch. wedges or big heels are more comfortable, and square-toed. sharp-pointed toes would only cause an aching feet. i like open sandals bila bukan time kerja. bebas.
5. clothes
can go crazy with clothes, esp blouses. but my petite size makes it difficult for me to find one that really suits me. nak cari long-sleeves pun susah. so, most of my blouses have 3/4 sleeves (which appear as long sleeve on me!). also love long-skirts, but mr hubbyby prefers me to wear pants rather than long skirts. dia fikir long skirt appears more sexy b'cos of the way the skirt is cut. tapi.. dah makin tua ni rasa lebih manis pakai long skirt.. sekarang ntah kenapa minat plain colors and drifting away from prints. rasa cam nak beli few basic plain colors for blouse and long skirt. hm.. mesti cari tailor bagus..
6. books
love to read since i was small... sampai sekarang. used to buy books as a reward following big tests or exams. at the moments i have about 6-7 more books to be read. love mags too.. dulu2 kita beli homes & living, and wanita masa zaman student. bila tak de duit, kita akan kira semua mags yg kita ade, and tgk berapa byk kita dah habiskan for mags, which is actually equal to... bazirkan duit! i have collections of anjung seri and impiana and wanita/jelita. but nowadays i found mags are just a waste of money.. not many magazines have really good articles and worth buying. usually buy mags bila keboringan..
7. beddings items
suka sangat2 ngan beddings products. boleh berdiri lama2 kat area sini sambil belek cadar, quilt cover, cushion cover etc. rasanya dlm almari tu ade 3-4 lagi yang belum guna and last few days beli lagi. cannot help it. penyeri bilik!
8. kitchen utensils
haha.. even though am not very good in the kitchen, being a woman, tetap suka belek kuali. don't know why, of all the things.. i love pans. dari yang sekecik2nya sehingga la to the wok. still, i haven't got a really good one except for the grill pan bought last year. nanti naik rumah baru (yg tak tahu bila....) korang bawa la hadiah kuali2 or pots yg berkualiti utk kita for housewarming. sure kita suke giler..
also suka dinnerwares and tea sets yg modern and urban. simple but elegant, macam yg banyak kat ikea tu.
9. skincare products & makeups
skincare products - tak boleh tidak. these are must have items. the basic things.. cleanser, toner, eyecream, mosturiser, sunblock. just invested in estee lauder skincare, though i actually wanted skII. would love to have clarins products for bodycare.
i don't really use make-ups. just use compact powder, lipbalm and some lipstick. that's it. one lipstick may last more than 6 months. never use blusher or mascara or eyeshadow or eyeliner. tak pandai, and don't have time for it. lipstick pun, cari yang the most natural color. cukup utk nampak sedikit berseri and tak pucat.
10. luggage
i can go crazy with luggage carriers. nasib baik jarang travel, kalau tak mesti berderet.. suka cuci mata dengan luggage items.
Nevertheless, as a wife and a mother, mana2 pergi, i will always shop for my children first, followed by hubbyby's items. my own shopping would be done last.. i need to spend some time for my own things. never shop in a hurry... banyak abis duit kepada benda yang tak perlu.
being a women, i love shopping... but am not an impulsive buyer.
ahh.. bila dapat gi shopping ni?? dah middle march.. haven't really shop this year!
bercuti.
hari ni sungguh tidak produktif. sangat seronok bermalas-malas dan membuang masa. alangkah nikmatnyanya kalau tak perlu bekerja..
angan-angan mat jenin. impian sejak mula jadi houseman yang tak tahu bila akan jadi kenyataan. uhh.. sungguh tak sanggup bekerja sehingga umur mencecah usia 58. kenapa dulu tak berfikir panjang? kalau betul bijak.. tak perlu sign option 56 dan seterusnya option 58.
mula bercuti semalam. demi anak2. sofea dan hanif telah ditinggalkan di kb sejak sabtu lepas. teruja sungguh mereka nak bercuti di kb.. tak perlu ummi susah2 fikir nak gi vacation kat mana dan duk kira budget vacation. 3 hari di KT tanpa anak2.. sunyi! bila makan.. teringat anak2, esp bila makan apa yg depa suka. nasib baik mr hubbyby cuba balik awal. dan ianya bermaksud beliau sampai rumah dalam pukul 8. itulah definisi suami balik awal!
tapi perancangan cuti kami tersasar dari jadual family members yang lain. by the time kami balik, ramai yang dah kembali ke kl. ramai juga yang tak dapat balik... sibuk. hari ini cuma ada kami dan family kak ni.
malam tadi celebrate birthday hanif. tak habis tiramisu.. may be too much mocha.. the children do not like it. last nite tak boleh tido.. pusing kanan, pusing kiri.. ntah kul berapa baru lelap. by the time org lain had lunch, kita layan ngantuk and tido...
tengahari tadi hubbyby dah bertolak ke besut. ada urusan keluarga perlu diselesaikan.. kami still in kb. pagi sabtu baru balik. apa lagi nak buat ye..??
boring lak balik cuti kali ni.. esok nak buat apa??
last friday evening, as i was lying in bed reading a book, my phone rang. the phone seldom rang, unless on the days that i'm supposed to be oncall.
i looked at the name that appeared on the phone.. an old friend. though we always keep in touch (sms, emel, yahoogroup, fb) but we seldom call each other. pelik gak..
so, when i finally answered the phone, i know my voice sounded different. sounded pelik and worried. she repeatedly told me tak de ape2, she just need someone to share some news. and she couldn't think of anyone else but me (wah... dlm hati flattered kejap!).
and the news was quite shocking. though i sounded very calm, dlm hati terkejut badak. it was not a bad news. berita baik yang harus dikongsi dan dilihat dengan penuh takjub dan rasa syukur.
it was about our junior in mrsm kuantan. she is one year my junior (M2), and now a doctor in kuantan. alhamdulillah, beliau akhirnya bertemu jodoh. dan ditemukan jodohnya oleh teman lama (ex-kuantan jg) yg sungguh mulia hatinya (M1). mereka berkongsi suami. bermadu.
they met during their batch reunion last year. masa tu M1(also a doctor, my junior in kuantan and UKM) telah menjemput M2 menaiki keretanya. dan sudah tentu, bertemulah ngan si suami. following that, M1 telah mengusahakan supaya M2 dapat dijodohkan dengan suaminya (my friend in med school UKM). kenapa and mengapa M1 mahu bermadu, tidaklah diketahui. nak kata disebabkan zuriat, mereka ada seorang anak. nak tanya lebih2... its too personal.
memang terkejut dengar berita tu. M1 dan suami yang saya kenal, kedua2nya biasa saje. M1 dulu freehair, sangat comel and cute (she is smaller than me), rambut panjang. walau kenal since in kuantan, kami tak pernah rapat. M1 sangat pendiam, and kawan ngan roomates dia je. suaminya bukanlah tergolong mat2 surau, tapi bukan la jenis bising2, and tak de la campur sgt ngan girls. tapi depa couple masa medical student lagi, biasa dilihat kemana2 berdua.
M2 memang budak baik. fair complexion, rupa paras biasa saje. rajin berusrah, tapi kelakar and spontaneous. was quite close to me masa kat kuantan. belajar medic kat india. and we lost contact since then.
biasanya dengar cerita gini dalam magazine and tgk dlm drama. dan belum pernah jumpa in real life. memang kagum dengan mereka. buat masa ini mereka tinggal serumah. ape2 pun, kita percaya, mesti ada sebab disebaliknya..
berkongsi suami... bukan mudah. kehilangan dan berkongsi teman rapat pun boleh sampai berjauh hati dan menimbulkan kesunyian. inikan pula suami, teman hidup. cakap mungkin senang, tapi.. untuk menjaga hati bukan perkara yang mudah. prasangka, kecil hati, rasa dipinggirkan.. semuanya akan timbul. bukan saja syaitan dan iblis yang akan menanam unsur2 negatif, orang sekeliling boleh saja menjadi batu api dan menghasut. cabarannya besar. dan mereka yang dapat mengharunginya adalah orang2 yang sabar.
ia mengambil masa lebih tiga hari untuk berkongsi cerita ini dengan mr hubbyby. dan seperti dijangka, mr hubbyby sungguh berminat ngan cerita2 sebegini, sambil tersenyum lebar dan memuji2 pasangan tersebut. semalam mr hubbyby masih bertanya mengenai mereka. tapi kita malas nak layan.
my best wishes to all three of them. moga sabar, dan bahagia sentiasa.
alangkah indahnya hidup bersyariat..
lately, selalu rasa sedih, and felt down.
it was made worse when you have to face it alone.
tengok movie The Reader sampai menangis2. ceritanya biasa je (though listed as top 5 for academy awards 2009). selalu cam gitu... movie as a medium utk memudahkan release kesedihan. tak mudah kita nak nangis gitu je. kalo tgh sedih, tengok je winter sonata, stepmom or my best friend's wedding... sure dapat nangis puas2.
pagi tadi, kena tegur mata bengkak. and dlm kita bercerita ngan a friend, mata dia jelas berkaca2 mendengar cerita kita. before we went out for lunch, kawan tadi meluahkan kesedihannya and cried. perempuan menangis bukan kerana manja. bukan mengada2. bukan emosional. perempuan menangis kerana jiwanya lembut, hatinya mudah tersentuh dan keupayaan menyelami perasaan insan lain.
for the past few weeks, there were news on the media that had been very disturbing. hari2 boleh baca - bayi ditinggalkan di pagar masjid, mayat bayi ditemui dipenuhi dengan semut, bayi dibakar dalam tong sampah, bayi di buang dari atas lebuhraya... dan paling sakit menyelami keperitan shafiya humaira di saat-saat akhir kehidupannya. azabnya syafiya..
begitulah bila hidup bertunjangkan nafsu. sanggup buat apa sahaja demi keseronokan yang seketika. pendek akal. sanggup bersusah payah hamil 9 bulan, dan kemudian melahirkan dan dibuang saja. tiadakah naluri ibu tika mengendong nyawa janin di dalam perut yang semakin membesar? tiadakah jalinan perasaan tika merasa indahnya tendangan janin, manja dan menghiburkan. tiadakah perasaan tika menatap wajah comel bayi yang dilahirkan? tidak terkenangkah setelah ditinggalkan?
anak itu anugerah. amanah. suci. bersih. janganlah disia-siakan. ramai yang mengharapkannya, menunggu kehadirannya, tapi tak semua yang menerima anugerah itu.
hidup biarlah bertunjangkan iman, dan digerakkan kebijaksanaan.
