a tribute to AYAH..

june 12 - today is Father's Day.

forgot about it. bila bukak tv, baru perasan. well, dulu2 tak pernah sibuk pun pasal father's day, cuma lately, after i have my own children, kita mula aware about. if we were in KB together with other siblings, then we would have some makan2. when your parents get older, they become more sensitive and they really appreciate the small little things that we do to show that we love them.

i love my dad. he is my role model. i have always admired him since i was small. but our relationship is conservatively father and daughter. same as my mom, we don't interact much verbally, but the bond holds us together. kadang2 i tak pandai nak borak with him. i even pernah told my friends that i talk to my dad on PRN basis, and whenever he drove me to work during my housemanship, we seldom talk. me... i was always a rebel!

dad is the youngest out of 9 siblings - complicated, ada yg betul2 share the same father and mother, ada yang satu mak lain ayah, ada yang satu ayah lain mak. but what i respect about his family is that they are very close. my nenek even took care of her stepchildren. my father also jenis yang suka take care about his sedara mara, and act like a father to many of his nieces and nephews.

he is not from a well-off family, orang kampung. his father died even before my eldest sister was born, and was brought up by his mother. masa dulu2 school was not a must, but he attended school bila tengok kawan gi sekolah. one day while he was in primary school, his teacher told him, that he can apply for a "special malay" class, but kena ambik test. he went there with his parents and waited for his name to be called. his name was not called, and it turn out that it was bcoz he didn't pay for it. he was sad, and began to realize how important money is. just becoz of a small amount of money, he lost the chance to get a better education.

he continued his ordinary school, and began to realize the importance of maths and education. he finished school and was offered to be a teacher. dulu ayah nak gi interview pun pinjam seluar kawan... i just can't imagine. dulu jadi cikgu tak perlu masuk universiti, pergi special training je. and the pupils are sometimes older than you since sekolah dulu tak de system.

all this while i thought he was maths and science teacher je, tapi sebenarnya his specialty is geography. i knew it after i returned from korat. his has a wide general knowledge, and is a quite well read person. he even says, kita mungkin tak mampu nak sampai ke satu2 tempat tu, tapi ilmu yang kita ada, boleh buat kita tahu segala2 about it, melebihi orang lain.

he is an all-rounder. belia contoh, pengasas persatuan belia kg. salor and was really active when he was young. he has a good voice, can sing, can act and berzapin. his passion in sports tak bersempadan. he played for the state badminton team, and later became the state coach and was always active in the badminton association. whenever big events like thomas cup, etc being held in KL, he used to be one of the volunteers or is he paid for it? i don't know. masa kecik2 dulu, biasalah ayah ada meeting ngan kawan2 kat rumah, and we were told to watch tv quietly upstairs and eat quietly in the kitchen. he was also active in football and takraw. dad can also mengaji quran very well, suara dia sedap, tajwid bagus. kalau dia dengar kita ngaji he can correct us without even looking at the quran itself.

ayah seorang yang berpandangan jauh. as a teacher, walaupun duduk kg., he knows which school to send us. we were sent to the best school in KB at that time, english medium. walaupun susah, ayah akan pastikan dia yang hantar kami ke sekolah, kecuali kalau sekolah petang, then kena gi naik bas. walau anak dia dah ramai, dia boleh tumpangkan anak orang lain lagi naik kereta dia. ayah also took care of some of my cousins, mana2 yang ada potential, ayah akan sekolahkan at a better school, and belanja semua ayah tanggung. they will stay with us at our house. no wonder, my cousins really respected him.

to dad, education is the passport to a better future. masa kecik2 dulu, ayah selalu tanya siapa my friends at school. i was encouraged to befriend the top scorers at school, an observe how they learn. when my sisters finished SPM, dad akan usaha isi borang itu ini, to make sure kami dapat scholarship, kami bukan orang senang. walaupun kami semua perempuan, we were encourage to go abroad to further our studies, cuma bila dia dah tua sikit, baru dia nak kami study kat malaysia je, takut apa2 jadi, senang nak balik. tapi by that time our local universities pun dah bagus.

my mom and dad do not speak english. they can understand simple english je but they do not communicate using that language. but all of us mastered that language well. when my sisters were studying abroad, they were encourage to write letters to us in english. i was only std 2 at that time, and i would read the letters to him out loud and will explain what i can understand from it.

masa kecik i was anak ayah... memang manja. i always kiss my dad on his cheeks sampailah i dah darjah dua and mula ada adik perempuan. i remember i always dance in front of him, and dia akan cakap how good i was. when i started to learn rollerskating, he was the one who held my hand to keep me from falling. he instilled the reading culture into me. during school holidays, we would play carrom, chess and rummikub together. petang2, main badminton.

dad always have powerful words. his words would always make me cry. masa duduk mrsm and ukm dulu, bila telefon rumah, kalau boleh i tak nak cakap ngan ayah, sebab he will always bagi nasihat yang power2, and make me cry. he would always pat my back whenever i nak naik bas after balik cuti.

as a father, he is strict. his stare would scare us. but dia tak pernah guna kekerasan, nak marah pun setakat marah mulut je. he taught me to be positive, strong and tough. ramai yang tanya ayah apa rahsia anak2 semua successful and menjadi... his answer was - mungkin berkat kita ikhlas mengajar anak orang (as a teacher), and doa yang tak pernah putus. alhamdulillah, now they dah menuai hasil kejayaan anak2, berkat kehidupan, murah rezeki.

he is an optimistic person, always positive, diplomatic and very polite with his words. bila cari life partner dulu, i always compare that person ngan ayah. the truth is, i couldn't find one that match him. not even any of my brothers IL pun setanding ngan ayah. he is one in a million to me.

ayah, please forgive me for being a difficult and rebellious child. but i have always tried my best to make you proud of me. being a doctor is one big gift for you, and i will always try to be good. i know i never have the courage to say these out loud in front of you, but i want you to know that i love you. i always do.

happy father's day!